Ones that entertain, and ones that observe.

"There's only two types of people in the world: Ones that entertain and ones that observe." Oh, Britney. Sigh. So wise.

I know I know I know. I don’t want to hear it. When you get a post, you get a post, okay? I mean I could dictate this crap ALL day long – come to think of it – I do! But having the time (and energy) to sit down, write it, edit it (this “magic” doesn’t happen all by itself people) well that’s a different story. The day I have a secretary to translate my dictation, is the day you will have more blogging. That or this summer when I am not working (heeheeheehohoho – did I mention that I was now a teacher and get the summers OFF?! Holla at yo motha the glass if half full!). Anywho, the purpose of this is to simply share with you two new products that are rocking my world. I could no longer keep this information to myself, it just isn’t fair to you.

First off, eyelashes. You just have to try it. I pride-myself-am-embarrassed-by-haha-who-am-i-kidding-no-i-am-not-i-cant-live-without premium expensive mascara. It is one of those cosmetic products where I do believe price/name brand quality makes a difference. Believe me I have tried them ALL. There is literally not a one out there I can think of I haven’t. But I have found the best “cheap” drugstore brand mascara in the history of the universe. Seriously. The universe. Maybelline’s new Lash Stiletto Ultimate Length Washable Mascara. Eeeeek ugh-mazing. First of all, I am a sucker for packaging and its tres adorable. It looks like a stiletto heel for goodness sakes – genius! Marketing gurus must be inside my gullible head. But evenmoreso, it is such an impressively great mascara. Not since Maybelline discontinued their Illegal Lengths mascara in 2004 (devil! Please pause for a moment of silence) have I been so excited about any cheap mascara. Stilleto makes my lashes dead-of-night black and lengthens the freaking heck out of them - which yes are already decently long – but Stiletto takes them to like trannie level. You could be mistaken for a drag queen. But in a totally good way. Wait is there a good way? Hmmm ponder… anyway – it’s FAB. It will also give your lashes little volume and hold curl pretty well to make it an amazingly impressive combination of all four important aspects of mascara: length, darkness, volume and curl. And the best part? Its only, like, $7.50. Seven fiddy?! That rocks the kashbah. Go try it and its okay to write me a note to thank me. You’re very welcome.

Secondly, I have a renewed faith in this whole mineral makeup movement. Okay that’s a lie I am still not a believer and am so annoyed by the whole fad but I did find a new product I can not live without. MAC’s Mineralize Skinfinish Natural. It is the most amazing, silky smooth powder that goes on so nicely, covering just a little more than a powder but less than a foundation or even a powder/foundation – I just love it! I have normally steered away from MAC’s face products, not that they are bad they just usually aren’t my cup of tea (even cult-favorite Studio Fix is too heavy for me). However, after reading about this product I finally tried it and I am oh oh oh so glad I did. It looks so amazing over a little tinted moisturizer and it is a buildable product… which means you can change the look of it depending how much you want to wear - if you want more coverage, you can just keep adding layers of it. Oh yeah and of course it is “baked with minerals” in case you are one of those who are into that and have to have minerals. Puke. Anywho, I had even decided to invest in a fancy, nice kabuki brush to apply it with, but honestly Mineralize Skinfinish Natural is so good that with my random extra blush brush it looks fine. So simply put a little bronzer over it and your skin looks toner, silkier, smoother, and it tends to stay for a decent amount of time, I love it. I currently am using the “Medium” shade and although a steeper price than my aforementioned cheap mascara, that’s a wonderful trade off in my book.

That's all for now folks! I am off to teach future inmates of America's penal system important life lessons like how to find the probability of getting all "heads up" if you toss a coin four times. I know. Rock. Your. World. And in case you are a nerd and are now wondering... hmmm I wonder what is the probability of getting all "heads up" if you toss a coin for times. Its 1 out of 16. Nerd alert! Peace.

Thankfulness - Ruthilicious Edition 2008

Whether your life is good or bad... seems up or down... full of trials or blessings... gratitude and thankfulness are essential and should be the focus of our lives on a daily basis. Unfortunately it usually takes a holiday like Thanksgiving for us to sit down and truly realize how lucky we are and how many things we have to be thankful fo- however trivial they may seem. So for today these are some things that I am thankful for this year in no particular order:

1. The people who still love me despite my numerous numerous faults.
2. Revitalash. Like my own personal genie in a bottle.
3. My job and passing that friggin’ math test to get it.
4. Teen vampire fiction. Twilight. Duh.
5. My Lord. My God. My Redeemer. He hasn’t given up on me and still desires a relationship with me… even if the feeling is not always mutual. Very rarely mutual. Amazing grace.
6. Sephora.
7. Podcasts. After spending so much time and money collecting sermon series on CDs the past five years, the world of free (or at least cheap) podcasts has changed my life. And new speakers – Mark Driscoll, Ervin Lutzer, Matt Chandler to name a few – plus Oneplace.com.
8. Cats. LOL. This one was just to make me laugh. Who am I kidding I hate cats. I wish death upon them all. No joke.
9. Facebook.
10. Online shopping. And RetailMeNot.com which makes it even cheaper.
11. My parents. Although maybe cliché I would not have survived the last three years without them… or have been born in the first place I guess. They are spectacular.
12. Dry cleaners.
13. Taylor Swift. Who doesn’t enjoy break-up-girls-rock-boys-suck songs over and over? No one that’s who.
14. My youth ministry girls. Watching them grow and mature is such a blessing.
15. Laying out. By pool or beach. Preferably with friends, music, cold drinks, and Banana Boat dry tanning oil spray.
16. Over-sized rings. Da bigga da bettah.
17. My friends. And for the chance to have been in all of their weddings and how much fun all of the showers, bachelorette party weekends, and wedding days are. Memories to last a lifetime. I love you all.
18. Bud Light Lime.
19. Fossil dresses.
20. All the people who pray for me when I do not have the strength or energy to pray for myself.
21. My sister Rachel
22. My health. I have gotten over my seven weeks worth of strep throat (aka mono) and my back pain although not gone, hasn’t gotten worse. Glass half full right?
23. Cold weather (albeit rare).
24. The wisdom and maturity that comes with having gone through so many hard times and having made so many mistakes in my life.
25. 2008 Beijing Olympics.
26. Democracy (for now…) and a Sovereign God who is in control.
27. My iPhone. I just love it. Who cares if it’s a vintage one - 3G is so overrated. :)
28. Down comforters.
29. Cheese. Never gets old.
30. Live music.
31. Beauty blogs
32. The Christmas’ (they are a family) and all they have done for my sister, Rebecca, and all the selfless love they have shown her. They are truly the closest thing to angels on this earth that I have ever encountered and give a new definition to “dying to self”.
33. LORAC TANtalizer Body Bronzing Luminizer and Too Faced Lash Injection Mascara
34. Seeing my parents happy and treated with the love and respect they deserve at their new church.
35. My flava. Although in small quantity the white chocolate in me has helped me survive the semester (so far).
36. DVR
37. Taylor Kitsch and Tony Romo.
38. Jack in The Box’s new Hearty Breakfast Bowl. Yum-meeeee!
39. Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. They keep my conservative soul somewhat sane.
40. Downy Wrinkle Releaser Spray
41. Gossip Girl. My guilty obsession. The fashion alone leaves me breathless and it reminds me how I would dress if I won the lottery.
42. Texas A&M University. Whoop!
43. Cheap jewelry stores.
44. Hope.
45. The math department at my school and how much support I get from them. It could be so much worse!
46. People.com. One-stop shop for celebgoss in a hurry.
47. Jessica Simpson’s shoe line *#@($%^*/(*. Sorry about that I just threw up in my mouth a little. That hurt to say but it had to be said. I love them.
48. Singing in the car. Betty Boop doesn’t care if I’m tone deaf.
49. All of you who randomly still check this blog even though I haven’t really blogged in six months!

And last but not least…

50. Diet Coke. Save the best for last.

There are so many more things I am thankful for (yeah, like that) and tons of more people that I am thankful for who are in my life (yeah, like you)... but my list can only be so long. :)

What are you most thankful for this year?

I will cut him

Although I am clearly not blogging in my current life state right now, I have been told that having my last post up being focused around mullet hair products was not quite classy enough. I thought to myself - "Ruth. C'mon. Fake it. Be classy. Whats something else you I would make sure could share with folks?" Well since it is Halloween time, I thought I would share what I would have dressed up as (which I didnt because I am now going on being sick for four full weeks now and on my third round of antibiotics all the while still teaching my gangstas from paradise everyday- fun times) - and that would have been none other than... Bon Qui Qui. She from Madtv. Picture of class. And she just makes me laugh. Girl if you don't know 'bout Bon Qui Qui, you gosta watch...

Oh and on a completely unrelated sidenote, I found what I want for Christmas. Its just one thing... not too much to ask for, right?

Lame? Oh Yes. Better than nothing? Up for debate.

Okay so I have no real intention on blogging, folks. Sorry. I have absolutely no emotional energy left in me not to mention any time at all... and basically in my new job I am living my own personal HELL (I did achieve something by finding something more miserable than accounting). Add that with the fact that I made the "smart" decision to stay with my parents who decided NOT to evacuate for Hurricane Ike even though the house is technically only two miles away from Galveston Bay.... hmmmm not looking good. "Hunkerin' down" is what its supposedly called. However there's something I gotta share. Its not work stories (but oh man I got 'em), my opinions on Sarah Palin (oh you knooooooooow I got 'em), its not my pre-Ike-drowning final goodbye letter (I'm not melodramatic at all), but I have found something kin to random amazing genius I feel like I would be robbing you of delight and wonderment if I did not share. Shoot it would be a crime. I don't need a felony to add to my list of perils (and yes Aggie football is on this list as well).

It is a crackheaad of a company called Blue Q. I'm talking serious crack. There's no other way to describe it. How am I so sure? They have produced Mullet beauty products - shampoo/body wash. Yes exactly. Classeeee. Shampoo for rednecks who happen to like business in the front and a party in the back. Freakin' hilarious. Sad part is... someone out there is buyin' this stuff going "awhhh yeahhhh!" And on top of the Mullet product line they have Cat Butt and Gnome gum and airfreshners, Mental Case soaps (including Obsessive, Prima Donna and Nymphomaniac soaps!), Total Biatch toiletries, and Miso Pretty beauty products among many other geniusly named lines. One of the most RANDOM things I have come across in a long time. For some reason just wanted to share.

Wow. What a dork am I? Now that I have written it down... yeah its not that funny. Yes random but not that funny. Sheesh Ruth. Have I lost my mojo or what? I am about to just delete this. Ugh. Okay I do not want to bother to post this and embarass myself... but dang at least its a blog post, right? Basically I am laying here in bed "relaxing" for the first time in months watching the UNC-Rutgers football game since I am trying to get in as much TV as possible before our power inevitably goes out tomorrow... so I suppose this is all you got. Be grateful dangit. So whats the only upside (is there one?) to being stuck in my house for three days? Hmmm... since the power will be out I can't really think of one - oh!- except I can finally try out my new self tanner. After months of searching in stores and the internet, I finally snagged me some L'Occitane Castanha Self-Tanning Veil (face self-tanner) that has been virtually ungettable. But I always get nervous trying a new one because in essence it could turn your face orange and that would be well a teensy bit embarassing. So now I can try it to see how it looks with my coloring with no one being able to look at me if it doesn't go well... all the while thinking I had another run-in with one of those horrific Mystic Tan booths (miserable!). See guys??? At least I still have my priorities.

Okay so one kinda-work story that does break my heart - I was finally turned on. Stabbed in back. Benjamin Franklin-ed. It was terrible. By who? My great love... Diet Coke. First my computer and now this? So I had a twelve pack of DC in the back of my car for a few days that I was going to bring into my school to keep in the fridge. So I finally went to get it out of my car right before school started on Tuesday, and well I'm clumsy so I dropped it - no biggie, right. Wrong. The ENTIRE box exploded all over me. All twelve cans. All of them! I guess they had gotten too hot sitting in my car for a few days and were a ticking coke bomb. I was covered head to toe in Diet Coke. Whats worse? This happened right before school started and I was parked right in front of the bus circle so half the student body got to watch this happen. Lovely. Why do these things happen to me? I just can't believe DC keeps turning on me... it hurts.

I miss all my people. You know who you are.

xo - ruthie

There is no color as beautiful as GOLD (except pink of course)

So its 12:30 in the morning. I went to "sleep" at 10pm because a) I am pooped exhausted from all my teacher training prep and b) I have been so nauseous and nervous all day for Nastia Liukin to compete tonight I wasnt really sure I could watch her compete in the gymnastics all-around competition. That is how much I have been invested in this young lady. Starting to watch her in 2004 and 2005 when she was far above the rest of the world and no one could come close to touching her, then watching her hopes dash as she had a major injury and surgery and having a long hard road of recovery barely being able to bounce back, to seeing everyone rant and rave about Shawn Johnson blah blah blah that she would be the Olympic All-Around Champion no problem no one else in contention... to knowing - completely believing - Nastia could win the all-around. I even called it. If she hit like she can, she could win hands down. No doubt about it. So as I tried to "sleep" I couldn't help but continue to quickly check the scores to see where they were at, and then after she hit her bars, I could not keep myself away. And then she did it... once she hit her double front on floor I knew that was it. I still can't believe it. My joy for her is indescribable - probably the most beautiful gymnast I have ever seen. She has been through so much and deserves it more than you know! Yes I cried. Multiple times. Aaaaaaa. Do I need a life? Shut up. Oh and did I love it that she won in a bright pink leotard? Absolutely. "Oh Ruth does that really matter?" Absolutely.

Oh and my other Olympic highlight tonight: Ryan Lochte winning the 200 Back (swimming). Finally!!!! This boy is such an incredible incredible incredible swimmer but always is the silver overshadowed by the powerhouse that is Michael Phelps. But the fact that Ryan now has his own individual gold medal (I'm okay with him beating Aaron Peirsol because although I love me some Aaron, he already got his 100 Back gold/WR) is amazing! Yeah I havent had time to blog lately, and even though really wanting to go on and on about the Olympics (as I am what people should call an Olympics junkie), honestly I have been reluctant to do so... especially about Michael Phelps only because everyone and their dog and even their dog's walker are talking about him... people who don't really know anything about swimming... which I totally understand but its still annoying to a psychotic swimming and gymnastics follower/fan like myself who follows every single meet these people compete in. I will say one thing.... I do not know how that boy is still standing. You can tell he is tiring a bit - his strokes are getting a tad tight - but he still going strong. Way stronger than he humanly should be able to. That is a whole lotta lactic acid his body is going through. It is truly magnificent what he is doing. Not just by winning... but that he has the endurance and strength to race this much. Sheesh. What am I going to do with myself when the Olympics are all over? Well... sleep probably.



My smack talk to Megan earlier this evening proved true : sorry sweetie. Nasty took the midget! heehee.

Taking a 180

So my life has been going through a bit of a transition the past two months. So in case any of you don’t know already, I thought I would share what has been going on. Although I have been extremely hesitant to say the least to start down this path… I believe this is where God is leading me at this time. Beginning next week I am going to be a public high school math teacher. Officially. Aaaaah! To say I am nervous/scared/anxious/uncertain is an understatement. The past few months have been filled with certification classes and seminars, studying studying studying, researching school districts and applying for jobs (applying for teaching jobs is a whole other ball game – like applying for a job and school at the same time), interviewing, and contemplating.

After going through the whole graduate school application process this spring, I was accepted into the University of Houston’s MBA program. However after reflecting on it more, I determined I could not afford to go into further debt by going to grad school with my uncertain medical future, especially to get a degree in something I reeeeeeeeeeally didn’t care about. So, I decided to go down this teaching path for many reasons… one of the main being my health situation. My chronic back pain still being such of an issue, and after two years of doctors, surgeries, and therapies with there being no resolution in sight, I realized there was no way I could sit for 40 hours a week at a desk (which is where reverting back to accounting or most business jobs would take me). So when thinking what in the world can I do that I don’t have to really sit all day – teaching is the only plausible option that came to mind. In my past I have always swore I would never be a teacher. My life motto has become : Never. Say. Never. However, I do have a heart and passion for high school students and see the need of love, guidance, and teaching they are lacking so it was natural that if it came down to it, I would want to teach them. I chose math because I have always been a number person and for the most part math has always come easy to me… with the realization that this is not usually the case for most students. Plus, there is a huge demand statewide for high school math teachers (because NO ONE wants to take the freakin’ test you have to pass!) so I figured this would be the best way to guarantee getting a job for this fall.

It is more official as of yesterday because I got my test scores back. You see, I had to pass a Texas Math Grades 8-12 content test in order to be able to teach high school math (if I don’t pass I could only be in the classroom as a “permanent substitute”). The problem is I was told by pretty much every person I spoke to that this math test was unpassable – my certification program people told me not to take it, current math teachers who had been teaching 20+ years, everyone. And I heard many people had to take the test over and over multiple times in order to pass. Great. No wonder there are no math teachers. So I have been studying my booty off for about six weeks… my mind being filled with ellipses, matrices, statistics, probability, trigonometry, surface areas, derivatives, radii, don’t even get me started its been ridiculous. So I took the test this past Friday. OMG I felt like my brain had been raped. Seriously. It was so hard and so long. It was a five hour test that took me every millisecond the five hours to complete it without budging. If you took a bathroom or water break, it took away from your test time so I persevered through it and didn’t move. I really had no idea how I did but I found out yesterday… that I passed. Yeaaaaaa! Dude 85% baby. Guess I am more of a smarty pants than I thought. I am so relieved if only because I never have to take that test again. Ever!

So that said, I have accepted a position at a high school in Houston (no not Houston ISD) to be an Algebra I teacher this coming school year. It is school comprised (97%) of “economically disadvantaged” students as I call them, so that is going to be a challenge in and of itself but I feel this is where I can make the most impact. Okay well honestly this is the school I feel like God wants me to make the most impact because if it were really up to me I would have chosen a much more comfortable situation. Yep that’s that. I am going to have to start getting used to hearing “Miss Wilson” without looking behind my back thinking my mom’s there…

NO I have no intention of ever wearing a knit wool vest covered in anything resembling an apple, Christmas tree, Halloween pumpkin or any other holiday symbol. I still have a rep to protect.

ruthie

Death by aspartame? Not just a theory anymore!

I might have finally found a reason curse Diet Coke. Although for a majority of my life it has provided my otherwise depressing and sad existence a sense of bliss, happiness and constant burpy delight, it has recently stabbed me in the back. Traitor! It has ruined my life (for the moment). It attacked then proceeded to flood and murder my laptop using its only weapon : its syrupy goodness. Okay so maybe the Diet Coke didn’t do this purposefully and without accomplices but I must blame my loss and distress on it, because I certainly can’t comprehend I did this to myself. Basically its as you have now inferred (cuz you’re so smart) - somehow the entire contents of a 20 oz Diet Coke found its way from the top of chest of drawers directly onto my computer without my knowledge for an unknown period of time before it was discovered. To my avail I was too late. My 'puter is gone. Yes I tried to do the whole turn it off and fan it out for 24 hours and such… only to then find out that I actually should have “washed it out” (what the?!) with water first because since it was Diet Coke and not water all the syrup is dried up all in my motherboard… and I just helped it dry up faster by fanning it out. Go me! Whatever. So ALL of my pictures from the past three years of my life are GONE (do NOT ask me if I "back up") along with all my music, links, documents, ten whole chapters from the novel I was starting to write (okay so there is no novel but I thought it would make it sound more dramatic if I had had one), and it breaks my heart... especially considering there is no money I can foresee coming into my presence in the next ten years or so to be able replace it. So for now I am using my sister’s old one that is giznhetto and totally possessed… as every third word I type the exorcist computer decides to hop it around the screen and insert it wherever it wishes and deliberately distract my task at hand. So seriously any typos (or offensive/weird/random phrases) are not my fault. Blame the terrible (yet wonderful) Diet Coke! Man Coca Cola Zero is looking better every minute...

One of those questions I never thought I would really have to answer

The last fifteen years or so, as I have repeatedly given my love and devotion to the Green Bay Packers while cheese (literally and figuratively) continues to ooze from my veins, one question periodically arises : do you love the Green Bay Packers or do you just love Brett Favre? Although this is usually coming from a guy in a mocking tone looking at me assuming I don’t really love football (oh he could not be more wrong), it is a valid question. One that I never thought I would have to really analyze and answer since I do not feel the two are mutually exclusive. Since I have been old enough to really be a fan, Brett has always been the Packers. He is a part of what I love. I love both. Nuff said. And now… THIS. All this CRAP. You know what I am talking about. My cheese-filled heart has been torn and conflicted and this whole Brett–Packers-return debacle. Its been really hard for me. You know… since its all about me of course. Whether or not after his dramatized retirement earlier this year you think he should come back and play, I think he is a much needed addition to the sport of football as his integrity, purity and talent when it comes to the game are not matched by anyone else playing today. The fact that he is hot and I want him to be my baby-daddy is not important.

So at first when all the trading talk was being tossed around, I was teeny bit tense thinking about supporting the Packers and whatever new team Brett might be playing for (along with the Texans of course) but then it was decided that I could handle that no problem. I mean shoot its not like the Aggies are going to do much this year. But now that the Packer top guys are being such shmucks about this… I mean really? A multi-million dollar marketing deal? The guy wants to play football. He doesn’t need the money. I know you were all ready to start using Aaron Rodgers and all but seriously – its Brett Favre. Its called being flexible. What’s your problem? And if you really don’t want him and you can’t figure out a trade– RELEASE him! If you don’t want him who cares who he plays for even if it is Minnesota. Oh but you don’t want him playing for Minnesota…. But you don’t want him playing for you either. You are like a BAD ex-boyfriend. The kind that will end up all alone in the end. Ugh! I am so annoyed. The only reason a trade isn't working out yet either is because they are trying to squeeze as many barter points out of his position as they can and its despicable. I mean no I do not want my Brett with the Jets – I could maybe handle the Redskins – but this is all being drawn out unnecessarily in my opinion… the Packers are just waiting for Brett to give up and take some money and walk away… but have you not watched him on the field the last fifteen years? That ‘aint going to happen. And now the NFL Commissioner has had to step in force the Packers to “let” him come to training camp. It’s just ludicrous. At least once he’s there he’ll run all over Rodgers and they will have to let him play. Mr Packer Top Dog Man, I think its sad the way you have handled this situation and disrespected Brett after all he has done for your franchise. I think this is going to come back and bite you in the butt. We Packer fans will not stand for it. You are about to make me answer this dreaded question… and you are not going to like the answer!

I'm pickin' up Good Vibrations

So many things so many things so many things I have to share after my lack of bloggage. I mean what’s been going on right? So what is it going to finally take to break the blog seal? One of the greatest cosmetic achievements in the history of the world of Ruth that’s what! Shocker I’m sure. So the newest, most buzzed about (pun intended) product starting to go mainstream are vibrating mascaras. No joke. Mascaras that are battery-operated with vibrating brushes to transform your lashes by reaching every single nook, cranny and edge with – hello! – long, thick, black awesomeness. Estee Lauder has already come out with TurboLash, and although sold out nationwide the reviews have not been all that great. Lancome’s version, however, is a totally different story.

Everyone has been talking about and anxiously awaiting the release of Lancome’s Ôscillation Vibrating Infinite Powermascara, which is a vibrating powermascara that provides 7000 oscillations per minute and is not supposed to be released to the public until December 2008. However, dun dun dunnnnn, Lancome decided to release a few hundred to the public last Thursday, July 31st, as a limited edition test-release, only to be found online at Sephora.com and at like seventeen Neiman Marcus’ countrywide. Sheesh. That ‘aint many and it became seemingly impossible to snag one before the end of the year. Poo on toast. I have absolutely no patience for things of this matter and I want this product now! So I didn’t know what time it was going to actually go on sale online, and knowing they were going to go fast fast fast, I set my alarm for like 2am, woke up in the middle of the night (You: "Get a life, Ruth" Me: "shut it") , went on Sephora.com and – hollaaaaaa- I ganked me one! Supposedly it went on sale at 1am and was sold out by 5am! If I had waited until I woke up it would have been too late. Thank goodness I am brilliant and planned accordingly. People are so pissed they went so fast online and for once (unlike my Chanel Black Satin nail polish debacle) I am on the other winning side of things. Sooooo point is: I am one of the few amazingly awesome people in the country to have this state-of-the-art beauty product at this time and therefore, yes, I think know I am pretty darn cool. It still hasn’t come in the mail yet but believe me you will hear about it once I get to start vibratin' my lashes. Let’s just all hope I don’t electrocute and fry my eyeballs. With my track record this is not out of the realm of possibility.

I can't seem to stop myself so I guess while I am at it... if you are looking for a new lip gloss (girlfriend have you seen those puckers lately? update them) please do yourself a favor and check out Smashbox's latest Wicked Lovely Fall 2008 Collection. Stellar. Never having been a huge fan of Smashbox lip products, the Wicked Lovely lip glosses (both Coy and Sweet shades) are making me a believer as they are bar none some of the best ones I have tried this year. Precious colors with a wet, slick look thats not too goopy? They're really awesome. Highlight that pout!

Fine Fine Fine

Homegirl just wanted to be a lil reclusive/lazy/overwhelmed/emotional in my own right. But fine. I'll blog. Wait for it...

Time to replenish your makeup bags

Two of my favorite tried and true beauty resources - Allure and Sephora - have both just released their new "BEST" lists... Best of Beauty and Best Sellers respectively for the year. My favorite time of year. Although I consider myself the kind of person who can try different beauty products out and discern for myself if they are Ruth-worthy or not, shoot that gets expensive. These ain't your Dollar Menu Special kind of products. So when these lists come out, I enjoy perusing them, to see a) how smart I am because I already use the said "best" products (ego-booster of sorts) and b) which new products I could try out that have at least a little reputation and backing behind them so its probably not going to be a total economical waste. The only disclaimer is that Allure would be your best best bet for whats really good out there because Sephora's list is actually their best sellers... meaning that the products might not actually be the best... they have just duped the American public into believing they are. Chumps. Plus - shocker - but Sephora does not carry every single beauty line in the world by any means. But still good to check out and probably merits a one-time trial... But that Allure list... whew.... just does ONE thing to me. Leaves me breathless with only the undeniable urge to go shopping. NOW.

Allure "Best of Beauty"

Highlights (aka I currently use) : Make Up For Ever Aqua Eyes eyeliner, Chanel Inimitable Mascara, Redken All Soft Shampoo and Conditioner, Kérastase Resistance Extra-Corps Fortifying Care for Weakened Fine Hair, Kérastase Resistance Ciment Thermique, Nars Blush in Orgasm, Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer Firming, DuWop Revolution Tinted Body Moisturizer With Shimmer SPF 15, Aveeno Continuous Protection Sunblock Lotion for the Face SPF 30

Sephora "Best Sellers"

Highlights (aka I currently use) : NARS Lip Gloss, Ojon Restorative Hair Treatment, Imju Fiberwig Fiberwig Mascara, Benefit Cosmetics Posietint, Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer, Bliss The Youth As We Know It, Caudalie Vinoperfect Radiance Serum, Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion, Marc Jacobs Daisy, Oscar Blandi Pronto Dry Shampoo Spray, Frederic Fekkai Summer Hair Zero-Humidity Frizz Control, Ojon Rub-Out Dry Cleanser, shu uemura Eyelash Curler, GoSMILE Touch Up Mini On-The-Go Smile Refresher

Who sleeps all night in a cake made of strawberry?

Oh no she di'int! Uh uh. I know you ain't messin' with my Strawberry Shortcake. What is the world coming to? American Greetings Properties have reimaged our beloved circa 1980's version of Strawberry Shortcake into what they call a "fruit-forward makeover" to create a new version for 2008 (on the right). Oh har har. You think you're funny. This is not funny. Why are they messing with an icon from our childhood? A perfectly adorable one at that that can span the decades in my opinion. Why does homegirl now have to be so much thinner (who "now prefers fresh fruit to gumdrops". Gag me.), clothed in a spiffy, cuter outfit including perfectly matching shoes, and got her hair all done up with a straightener? Sheesh. She looks like she just walked out of a Limited Too commercial. You think kids these days couldn't use a little old fashion pudge and ringlets... oh because they can. It would be good for them to see reality (they already see Limited Too commercials!). And better for my heart because this hurts. Supposedly they are also re-vamping the Care Bears (gasp!) but if they even come close to touching my My Little Ponies, Gummi Bears or Rainbow Bright... watch smoke come out of my head because I will FLIP. A. LID! We'll have a lawsuit on our hands!

So I am not perfect but my lashes are

I have decided to be a little more careful about my beauty product recommendations. Whether you take them seriously or not... I do because my name and expertise is on the line. Okay that might be stretching it, but you know what I mean. Most times when I talk about products they are tried and true and I am completely behind them but every once in a while I will get uber excited about one and share all about my one day experience with such product which one week later turns out to be crap. Some examples include but are not limited to:

Bobbi Brown Glitter Lip Gloss - Although the "Naked" shade I got was beautimous, the consistency of this lip gloss was terrible, the little brush did not work with the packaging and I paid freaking 20 dollars for a tube the size of my pinky nail. No exaggeration.

Dior Diorshow Blackout Mascara - I even recently repurchased this to give it another try but its absolutely awful and clumps on my lashes like bees to the honey. Yech. Bees to the honey. Crazy killer bees. "Cult fav! Cult fav!" is what everyone shrieks. Oh shut up.

Marc Jacobs Cucumber Splash - Even though I am still yearning and aching to get the new Grapefruit version of this (I never learn my own lessons), honestly its not that good. Although a wonderful refreshing scent, this splash lasts about as long as my patience. Nada. Yes the whole point of a splash is to be lighter than an actual perfume but c'mon you don't want to smell my natural pheromones all day either. For $75 not worth it.

Chanel Black Satin Nail Polish - Eeeeeeeek. I know this one hurts to type. But truth is truth. My beloved Black Satin that I worked and slaved to find and obtain. Although still the most beautiful deep black silky color, the nail polish is awful. Goopy and thick even when brand new. I shoulda known. Chanel really isn't known for good polishes. So even though I stare at my beloved, I have rarely used it and if I am feeling the dark itch, I reach for my 25-dollars-cheaper WetnWild version.

Thankfully I am not wrong about my products too often but I have made a new point to be sure sure. That is one of the reasons I have waited to review my newest Holy Grail forever and ever product - Revitalash. I was nervous about trying this because of the price and I couldn't find too too much information on the internet about this and its pricey pricey. But I was desperate. Back a few months ago when my eyelashes continued to fall out and were getting grossly thin and sparse, not even my dermatologist could help me. "I dunno whats making them do that" he said. Thanks genius. You watch a full four episodes of Scrubs and now you call yourself a doctor? Sheesh. But seriously I had tried everything with no success so I took the leap and tried Revitalash. It was a product made by a doctor whose wife had cancer and had lost all her hair and eyelashes and he wanted to give her a present to try to make them grow back - awwwww how sweet. I am such a sucker - that sold me.

With promises of longer, thicker, fuller lashes in two to three months, I went for it. Result? Honestly after two and a half months, it has completely "revitalized" my lashes (which are normally short, straight, thin and sparse even when healthy). Truly it has. Although it didn't make lashes grow in the gaped spaces overnight, it has made my existing lashes a longer and fuller within three weeks and eventually all of my lashes have grown back in. Now I don't have perfect-mistaken-for-false-eyelashes or anything but there is such an evident change to me from how they have been my whole life that I am a believer. This product is totally worth the money if you need help with your lashes or want to see if they can grow longer or differently or whatever. Only downside : the cost. Brace yourself... normally it'll cost ya $150. But I have found it on different websites for cheaper and I bought mine on Amazon for only like $80. That sounds like a lot to you, I know, but if you were desperate you wouldn't blink an eye (no pun intended). So keep this in mind if you are ever in need of some lash therapy. It gets 5 stars in my book.

One product that I recently recieved that I am excited to try but am going to hold off for a while to give you my exact opinion : Bliss the youth as we know it which is a face cream/moisturizing/anti-aging/wrinkle-reducing extravaganza thats supposed to do everything in one for your skin. I have heard so many great things about it but am going to wait to give you my opinion. So we shall see..

I am not always wrong. One thing that I knew was going to be great and was? Kung Fu Panda. Thats right! I knew I would love it and I did. I laughed out loud a whole lot more than the little kids sitting around me, so that could be considered embarassing. Gee gosh whatdoyado?

Don't they have anything better to do with their time?

I SURE HOPE NOT! I would be heartbroken - I love this stuff. If you are into the Online Dance Battle between Adam Chu's crew (ACDC) and Miley Cyrus' crew (M&M Cru)... well then read more here for an update and new video!

Vandalism circa two-double-oh-eight

Its 2008. Gas prices have risen above $4 as the national average and everyone is tense and jittery about this. You don't even want to get me started on some the craaaaapy bills that these retarded senators are drawing up to solve this energy crisis (i.e. Lieberman-Warner). Crap I'm started. These guys are morons. Mo-freakin-rons. Drill in Alaska you dang tree huggers. Seriously you would rather make sure to protect the water buffalos and tax us to kingdom come and let your lil ole grandmama die from a heat stroke cause she had to walk to the 7-11 to buy a slushie instead of driving her Ford Crown Victoria there because the increasing gas prices didn't fit into her monthly budget then try and drill in ANWR. See? Thats what you're doing here. Sheesh. Lets become energy independent. At least try to. Hello! It ain't rocket science.

Okay I'm done. I am really not an expert on this subject (there's gotta be at least one!) and don't claim to be - just my opinion. Point of this... no longer should we worry about car-jackings, because hey who can pay for the gas to go into that freaking car? Yeah exactly. Not nobody who is boosting cars anyway. And certainly not nobody who can't speak correct English. Anywho - this is just something to look forward to. Now mind you, I live in suburbia. I mean suuuuriously. This kinda stuff should only be seeping down to suburbia after the urbanite folks are guinea pigs first (although I have heard it happening to big rigs as of late). Don't you hoodlums know anything? So the thing thats been happening around my neighborhood is that people are stealing gas out of cars. Like literally opening up the gas cap and sucking the gas out of the cars. It happened to the people who live directly across the street from us. I know. Smart! Crazy-Awful! Yeah it sucks. I guess as gas prices continue to skyrocket this kind of vandalism might become more and more common. Which is kinda creepy-scary. But no worries about Betty Boop (me automobile). If someone tries to touch her booty - she'll scream. She ain't no hussie. So I think she's safe. However if you have a hoochie for a car, you might wanna think about investing in some double-sided tape for that gas cap... Uh huh. You know who you are.

I want this guy's job.

This is from a few weeks ago, but funny nonetheless so I thought I would share. It represents my thoughts exactly. :)

What really occupies my mind?

Air, you say? Har har my little blog reader gots jokes.

Where is all the blogging? My mind has been occupied. Yes on more than just Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo's (hopefully) flailing relationship, Denise Richards' pathetic and trashy attempt doing a reality show or the Lindsay Lohan question : is she or isn't she? More than the fact that after watching the entire fourth season of LOST last weekend, I am still fascinated yet confused with what was going on and am feeling a bit anxious and incomplete until I find out (how am I going to make it to January?). And my mind has been occupied on more than the fact that Barack Obama is by far the most radical liberal candidate for President this nation has ever seen that I believe has proved to be untrustworthy and underqualified and I am scared that people don't see that and the fact that John McCain is our only alternative literally makes me throw up Diet Coke and cheese into my mouth and that is not cool (Eeew gross you say? Its true. Because lets be honest those are two staples that I assuredly consume every day). And my mind is definitely probably on more than just on that the new lip gloss I "need" to buy (there's always one/two/three... Givenchy Pop Gloss Crystal in Ibiza Pink and NARS Lip Laquer in Caraibe), or on my favorite new purchase - MAC Solar Bits in Black Ore - which is a spectacular consistency formula made up of clusters of pigment and pearl so you can apply it as eye shadow two different ways, or on Make Up For Ever Aqua Eyes eyeliners that I have decided I need to invest in every single shade they make, or on Benefit's Some Kind-a Gorgeous foundation faker that I am now ob-sessed with and want to purchase in bulk (its so light and soft and makes your skin feel like... how can I describe it... a soft teddy bear? Its amazing. I can't stop touching my face when I put it on).

Nope. My mind has been on other stuff. I have been finishing out my job as Director of Student Ministries at my church, getting all of my youth group and Young Life kids graduated including graduation parties and ceremonies and gifts... all the while my back pain has been really bad ever since I did something to it (in addition to my normal chronic back pain) as I was trying to grab my luggage off the conveyor belt at the airport on the way back from NYC. Yeah so nothing all around exciting to hear about. All around I am definitely in a transition place in my life (again?!?!) and I am doing my darndest to trust God with my future and that He will guide me where I need to go, because its all a tad up in the air at this point. What will it be at this point only He knows. Although many friends have tried to convince me to do make up for a living (I become breathless at the thought!) according to this article, beautifyin' people is the way to go.

Will anyone go see Kung Fu Panda with me? Should I be embarassed with how bad I want to see it? Oh because I do. The preview makes me laugh out loud. Then pretty much anything makes me laugh out loud so that might not be saying too much.

The USA Women Gymnastics National Championships and The Mutual of Omaha Swimvitational are both this weekend. Yes I follow both swimming and gymnastics way too closely. What does that mean? Olympic Trials baby. They are just around the corner. I can smell them. I can't wait. You people better get excited about the Olympics, because I live and breathe for this type of high-level competition and you are going to be hearing about it once it is upon us. Michael Phelps and Nastia Liukin are going to kick some boot-ay. Just wait for it. I totally know Nastia can win the all-around - Shawn Johnson who?! - and want her to so badly! Then there is Phelps in swimming. You guys he's like Tiger Woods in golf PLUS Michael Jordan in basketball. Put together! He's that good and that far above the rest of the world of swimming. I literally can not wrap my mind around how fast and dominating he is. You'll be hearing more and more of him I am sure as Beijing comes closer... he'll be fun to watch and I think he'll totally break the Olympic record this time and earn eight gold medals.

I believe we have determined that what occupies my mind is a bunch of gooba-lee-gee . Lovely.

SATC. I am holding it in... for now

Of course I have already seen the Sex and The City Movie. Hello its me. I so so so so badly want to blog about it and what my take is on all of it but aaaaaaaaaaah I won't yet because I know there are some of you who havent seen it yet and I am such an awesome friend I don't want to spoil the plot. You need to experience it. So go see it soon because I want to share my thoughts. Basically there are parts that I really liked and parts that I really really didn't. Overall. Oh thats a hard one... B-. Maybe C+. Fashion eye candy gets an A+. Duh.

A few thoughts... Jennifer Hudson = completely retarded character. A waste of plot space if you ask me. Plus acting-wise she was not believable. She might have peaked at Dreamgirls. Cling onto your Oscar and get back to singin' girlfriend. My heart literally stopped beating when they showed Carrie shooting her VOGUE bridal couture spread (its at the beginning of the movie don't worry) - I gasped out loud - the gowns literally gave me chills they were so gorgeous. What in the world do us normal girls have to look forward to? Love handles and crow's feet. Lovely. Tell me how thats fair. Supposedly they flew in 80 different bridal gowns from off the runways around the world to determine which ones Sarah Jessica Parker would wear in the movie. If that doesn't make you want to be a movie star I don't know what will.

Although by the time this movie actually came out I was so over it (they took over-exposure in their promoting to a disgusting new level) I still overall enjoyed it and am glad I saw it. By the end of the movie I was sure they couldn't make a sequel to it (since I had heard rumors about it) but supposedly since it did so well this weekend at the box office... especially for a rated R chick flick for goodness sakes... they are talking about it. Hmmm I don't think its likely. Maybe if they brought in new characters but that would ruin it anyway so lets hope not. It did make me quite nostaligic remembering the good ole days of college sitting with my roomies Jenn and Erika watching Season 2 over and over on DVD and falling in love with this show. Ahhhh...

Other movie reviews/go see/no see:

IronMan - Yes. Really liked it. Go Jon Favreau. That is the way you set up for a sequel people.

Indiana Jones - No. Just didn't feel right. Too over-the-top even for Indy. Nah.

What Happens in Vegas - Yes. Besides Cameron Diaz's scary-man-like muscles, its real funny.

I ♥ NY Part Deux

So our weekend celebrating Rachel's bacheloretteness in New York was fabulous-o! Full of eating, shopping, eating, rooftop dancing (okay well at least I was dancing), eating, walking, oh and did I mention eating? Yeah I think we did that.

First we got to celebrate Jenn’s 28th 23rd birthday with some rooftop awesomeness. Great pizza and margaritas. But it probably would have been even better had there been the correct background music to make the perfect Jenn ambiance. You see… Rachel had brought the Ole Skool Booty Mix CD that I had made for Jenn last year coincidentally for her bachelorette party and while hanging on the rooftop it was decided that we needed this mix... so Futral and I made a quick trip down to Jenn’s apartment to snag said CD. Well as we were walking down the stairs Futral goes “I am totally going to be the first one to eat it on these stairs”… I respond with a polite “haha yeah yeah (mumble mumble)” even though in my head I was thinking “psh. oh yeah she totally is. I am gonna laugh so hard!” I am obviously a sensitive soul. The best part is that I grabbed the CD as the two of us make our way back up the concrete stairway… carrying nothing else in our hands mind you… and homegirl here – that would be me – tooooootally eats it and falls on my face… and the only thing to stop my fall – the CD. Not kidding it saved my life. Okay or at least my face. So the CD is completely ruined as it had concrete screech marks all over it. Ooops. Sorry Rach. I gotta make you another copy. :)

Then to finish out the night we had some shopping house calls. No kidding. It was heaven. Jenn knew a lady –Janelle- who is a designer (her line Orangia is fab) and she was willing to come over and show us her latest designs which we could by at wholesale prices. Shopping that makes house calls? Heck yeah. I need to market this stuff. Anywho she also brought by her friend Erika Pena’s jewelry line… and bing bang boom we’re in trouble. This stuff was insane. Gorg-eee-mous. Plus its sold in places like Nordstroms and has been worn by celebrities on red carpets – this means I’m a fake classy and I love it. So I think most of us bought some jewelry pieces (I did!) and a few bought some cute pieces from Janelle’s clothing line… that stuff just isn’t made for girls with biznoobies. Yes that would be me. Good times.

Yeah I gotta hurry this up I know. The next day we brunched at Pastis where I had my celebrity-radar turned on full blast since celebs are known to frequent this place, but to no avail. Nada. A few models here and there nibbling on grapes while we stuff our faces with eggs and cheese but thats about it. That was encouraging to say the least. We shopped (again? yes again.) a bit in Soho and checked out Ground Zero... which actually made me more emotional then I expected. Amazingly-depressingly-awesomely-somber. Thats the only word(s) I can think to describe it. Then hopped on the subway where I had my first turn trying to use the little paper-plasticy Metro card to get through the gate. Yes this is something made so that five year olds and mentally handicapped people are able to use it. Does that mean I am able to do it? Absolutely not. Ruth had a little trouble. And it wasn't just this one time. Every single time we rode the train I was stuck on the other side of the gate with my card going back and forth, back and forth, upside down, rightside up, it didn't matter. I couldn't do it. The mocking heckles that were coming from the other side of the gate out of my "supposed friends" mouths did not help one bit. It just gave me a complex... it was a pyschological battle. One that I certainly never won.

Then onto the bachelorette night. We went to the coolest restaurant ever. Stanton Social. I know this might be a shocker but I was unsure about this place. Basically everything comes in very small portions and you sort of get multiple dishes and share them all. I was like - what the? All I kept thinking was how mad they were going to be at me when I asked them to stop by Mickey D's on the way home since I'll still be starving. But it actually ended up being really interesting (french onion soup dumplings) and really good (mac and cheese baby) and pleeeenty filling. The restaurant was stellar - food, ambiance, everything - I recommend it. After that we headed to a really cool bar at Hotel Gansevoort where we met some Brits who kept trying to convince us they were movie producers (no sir not even close)... and then onto dancing at Mansion. Jenn got us da hookup so the night went very smoothly as we breezed by the line outside... and of course once inside dancing persued. So much fun and my feet didn't even fall off in my hot pink heels!

The rest of the weekend was pretty much wrapped up in eating (duh), shopping (duh) and girly fun. Oh lets not forget about my celeb sighting! Wait but then when you pair that with that scarring leprechaun sighting it might all even out - haha inside joke. It was such a blast (I can't wait for Rachel's wedding in July now!) and Jenn was such a gracious host as we all invaded every nook and cranny of her awesome-but-small apartment. Thanks boo. But I seriously did not want to leave. I looooooved New York. Shoot. This 'ain't my last rodeo.

Rach and I perfecting what I am now going to call the "shoulder pop-n-lock". Yeah baby.

You see, when I think about kissing animals, this is what I have in mind. Robert Cavalli? Holla. Times Square with Megan - my sista from anotha mista.

I ♥ NY

Just to clarify - I didn't actually die in Dallas. I know. Drama queen. I did return unharmed only to then get on a plane with my girls (Rachel, Megan, Jennifer, Jill) for Rachel's bachelorette weekend in NYC at Jenn's new hood in Chelsea. We had such a blast! It was actually (embarassingly) my first time to New York. I loved it and did not want to leave. I am trying to get all the pics together... then I will post about it in more detail.

However for now... whats the most important thing to do and look for when going to New York City? Think about it. For me? Oh my gosh it happened. The one thing that my heart was hoping and praying for. World peace? Heavens no. Celebrity sightings. Heck yeah. The first one was a minor D-lister but still not bad for an amateur. I spotted Janel Maloney - she played Donna on The West Wing - while walking around Chelsea with Rachel. Being a WW fan myself I thought this was really cool and I had to hold myself back from running up to her and asking how Josh was doing in the Santos Administration (I miss that show!).

Then... I consider this a good one... Megan and I demanded to take another trip to the Sephora in Times Square (there had been multiple trips. Shocker I know) and while the others had moved on to another store... as Megan and I were walking out of the store we practically ran into... Mr. Big. Chris Noth from Sex and The City. He was pushing his brand new baby daughter in a stroller with a few other men and was decked out in a suit - oh he looked so handsome. With my obsession with SATC and all the buzz and anticipation surrounding the movie coming out on Friday (I can't believe its finally here!), it took all the restraint in my body not to stop him and ask for a photo. We could have -we were stalking walking right behind him - but I was trying to be an ultra-cool-nonchalant New Yorker. I totally shoulda. Man! Regardless Megan and I were so excited and proud of ourselves and I think participated in what I guess u could call an unnecessary victory dance in the middle of times square... that drew quite a few "what the" glances. Seriously you would have thought it was the Jolie-Pitts or something. Fun times anyway and our own personal celebrity sighting.

Trip from hell? Why yes it is thanks for asking.

Seriously I am on the trip from hell and it 'ain't even over yet and I really might not return, so you better send your final notices/condolences/secret love notes to me now... secret love notes especially...

So I have another doctor's appointment in Dallas in the morning (another one? ughhhh I know) so my mother and I headed up there this afternoon. It started off like any other of my trips - you know - with a quick trip to the mall. Of course! I had to snag me some of my Aveda Hair Abundance Potion (a must-have for you flat/fine haired chicas) that I have been out of and figured I could shanaggle a mascara out of my mom at Sephora which just so happens to be next to the Aveda store (totally worked - suckaaaa!). But on my quick run to the ladies, oh no catastrophe hit. Don't worry it didn't involve me, but was scarring nonetheless. The girl in the stall next to me - goodness it hurts to say it out loud - accidentally flushed her engagement ring down the toilet. Aaaaaaaah I know. It was so awful. Even to witness/hear it. Poor thing. This girl was obviously on a shopping with trip with her mother and bridesmaids (as all these equally upset girls magically appeared) and was absolutely hysterical (understandably) as the ring accidentally dropped in the toilet but as she went to grab it the automatic flusher flushed it into oblivion. Damn you technology!!! So yes she was so upset, wouldn't leave the stall, the girls screeching in unison all the while her mother kept repeating in a nasally voice "I told you to be more careful with it... blah blah blah". Poor girl. Its gone forever. And such a scarring experience - even for an innocent bystander. I felt so bad for her.

Then on our trip up I-45 we hit a really bad wreck about Huntsville area. Like the kind where you seeing rolling hills worth of cars in front of you and know its going to be a long day. For whatever reason from the beginning of this traffic jam I wasn't annoyed as I usually am but more glad we were safe and hoping no one was hurt. Well it was awful. Once we finally got up to the wreck there were ambulances, fire trucks, police cars everywhere and two wrecked cars that had been flipped over and landed upside down in the ditch. It was so scary to see. I started bawling instantly (I am such a baby), praying for the people and families involved and thanking God for always keeping me safe in my travels (because Lord knows I am by admission the worst driver. Ever.). It just really got to me for some reason. I guess anyone who knows what it feels like to have a sudden tragedy occur, you know what it feels like for everything in your life to change so fast. Life is so temporary...

Then. Sigh. The good stuff. So moms and I arrive into Dallas and are on our way to our hotel. We grab some Tex-Mex to go (yum) and decide to stop by this random Valero thats about a block before our hotel to grab a few quick beverages. As we are driving up to it, I start to realize the particular high level of shadiness factor of the people loitering outside of it. I am talking classic crackwhore-hobo types. I was about to lean over and ask my mom if we should really go inside when in our rear view mirror I see this police car literally pull a 180 going in the wrong direction on the freeway feeder and pull up right next to us. Great, what has Susan done now. I was sure we were about to get a ticket. So as we were standing outside of Hoboville Corner Store the police officers asked us if we were from 'round these parts and we told him we weren't we were from Houston... so the DPD officers proceed to tell us... ahem... that this was a really bad part of town and this particular corner store is known for its drug deals, carjackings, robbery, etc... and that we weren't safe here alone and they said they were going to wait out in their police car to make sure we got out safely. I am SO not kidding. Dude even I can't make this stuff up. So one of the officers even walked us inside as all the crack dealers slurred a couple loud heeeeeeeeys to him. As I quickly grabbed my staple Diet Coke and for probably the first time in my life wondered if it was really worth it to consume one, I was thanking God for protecting me and my mamma mia. He obviously knew we were about to get ourselves into trouble. At the same time it was so weird that the cops turned around to help us. I mean we were in my mom's Ford Taurus for goodness sakes. A Taurus. And although we are both cute by my grandmother's standards, we obviously were not the Simpsons driving up in some Escalade. Seriously. So the fact that we stood out enough for the cops to come protect us means God must have stepped in. Or maybe the fact that we are both blondes helped. See? I knew that bleach would come in handy someday. I will use this as justification for my expensive highlights for at least a year.

Guess what? There's more. Still reading? Sorry. So I booked my mom and I a room at an Embassy Suites in Dallas on Expedia (I like their courtyards okay?). And even as we drove away from the police officers at the Valero I almost asked them to come home with me as I realized our hotel was less than a block from the "really bad part of town". Ruth still scuuuured. Oh but this is when it gets good. We drive up and the entire front section of the hotel is blocked off with construction tape like an abandoned warehouse - I had to look close to make sure it wasn't police tape - and it doesn't even look like the hotel is open. We drive around it and finally see a side door that has a raggedy sign taped on it that says "Check In". What the? We walk inside this tiny room that is a makeshift lobby (pathetic attempt) as we were informed that 80% of the hotel is under renovations. "Pardon our dust." I'll show you where to shove your dust. A cute slogan will not work with me right now. I already wanted to leave but we had already paid for the room so my mom was set on staying. So as we park our car and finally get into the hotel and into the elevator... No courtyard. All desecrated concrete. No restaurant. No lobby. No first seven floors. All demolished. Only two (two?!) floors open for guests and it was quiet, creepy, dirty. I have had it. Then we get off on our floor to a gathering of sketchy guys of whom I can only assume are the only other guests staying here. I am being so parnoid I am finally freaking out my mom. Great. I am thinking we are not going to make it.

So we are in an awful part of town, staying in a hotel that can only be described as it looks like a fancy crackhouse, and I have decided we might not survive. Seriously this might be it. Kidnapping, abduction, forced prostitution - believe me all the scenarios have ran through my mind. If we scream, believe me there is no one here to hear our cry. Call me melodramatic I don't care. You're not here. So I am laying in bed eating fudge and drinking wine... because YES if I am going out... I am gonna do it right with chocolate and booze in my hands. And if you don't hear from me again, we are staying at the Embassy Suites Dallas Park Central - shoot if someone is smart enough to track me down on the internet and stalk me here at least they can beat these crackheads to the punch - because I just want you to have some information to tell the detectives when they come and ask you if you have any information on my whereabouts... melodramatic my booty. :)

Hollywood Heat is Hot Hot Hot

Sephora has come out with one of their best gift sets ever ever ever - and its perfect for this time of year. If you want to figure out how to get a jump start on your bronzing purchases and don't know where to start, I will tell you where. LORAC's Hollywood Heat Set sold at Sephora for only $35 (amazing since its valued at $100. Seriously.) First of all, it has a travel size TANtalizer Body Bronzing Luminizer which makes it alone worth it. This is a gorgeous tanning tint/luminizer that is one of LORAC's best sellers. Its beautiful on your face or your body. This set also has a Bronze Bombshell Eyeshadow trio and Hot&Spicy Blush/Bronzer Duo which are both must-haves for the summer. To top it all off, it has a mini Mocktail Flavored Lip Gloss in Tropical Dream which is a beautiful peachy/coral lipgloss that goes great with your newly bronzed face. And it tastes yummy - like a tropical drink. Hello! Have I sold you yet? It comes in a cute metallic bronze makeup bag. That should seal the deal - at least in my world. This set is almost impossible to find in stores (it sells out the day the shelves are re-stocked) and has just now been released at Sephora.com. When I say just now, I mean it was released today and won't be available for long. Seriously guys this is a steal. So treat yourself. Now!

In case you missed it...

Step by Step they're BACK! New Kids On The Block performed on the Today Show this morning for the first time singing a medley of old tunes and their new single "Summertime". You think they still got it??? They looked kinda cute to me... but their voices sounded a bit rough... but regardless brought back floods of memories. If they release their over-sized-jumbo buttons again, I will be all over that crap. Just watch me.

A Tyra Conspiracy?

If you haven't watched the America's Next Top Model finale last night yet, then stop reading now. Sorry I tried.

But Oh Em Gee. If you did watch last night, you know who won. Wow. First off I will say that this season by far had the least talent of any season yet. Although Whitney and Anya performed pretty well in their photographs, I was embarassed for them... embarassed... to be looking like they did walking in a freaking Versace show. Versace. In Italy! They looked like such amateurs. I thought it was by far the worst runway finale performance for ANTM finalists to date. Just my personal opinion. Is ANTM on its way downhill? Hmmm......

That said, I was thrillllllllled that Whitney won! Yes she is a bit fake and over-the-top but I think she and her curves are gorgeous and love that a "full-figured" woman won! It is such a good role model for young girls out there - and I hang with them all the time - they need help and a wake up call to what normal is. So yea for the normal women out there! Mind you Whitney is a size 8/10. Yeah I know. Size 8 is supposed to be considered plus size? Excuse I have to go throw up for a bit.

But... oh there's always a butt (heehee)... I think its a conspiracy. And a nasty one if you ask me. There have been pictures released now of a much much skinner Whitney pre-ANTM. What the? What was all that crap about her whining that girls made fun of her being fat her whole life? If you check out these photos, she 'ain't no fat girl. Shoot I'll show you fat girl. So supposedly the conspiracy is that Whitney was a model who was modeling at a size 2/4 and was approached by the producers of ANTM who told her if she gained weight she could come on the show as the "plus-size" girl and at least make the top 3. *&$^&@*. Oh the horror. Okay so regardless if this is true or not about it being an ANTM producer plot, it reaaaaaaaally angers me. Mad I am! That means all of Whitney's crap about never fitting in, being bigger than other girls and the object of ridicule, and wanting to be a role model for NORMAL sized girls out there - is a load of CRAP. Basically homegirl was a gorgeous skinny model who got to sit at home eating pizza and bon bons for two weeks in order to gain 20 pounds right before the show. In my book that aint cool. Or fair (bonbons? yum). Gasp. I know. You're shocked, hurt and feel betrayed. Me too.

Either way, I think the "larger" version of Whitney is prettier than little model size Whitney. Sadly we could all hope to look like her version of a "full-figured" model. I want a real role model for my high school girls to look up to. Not fake made up ones. Disgust. Discuss.

Learn to dance in the rain

What is wrong with me? I haven't blogged like my normal self in weeks. Ugh. Its not like I don't wanna... I do! Its almost like I don't have anything to write about. Psh. Partly I dont have too much going on and partly I don't want to sound like a total shallow airhead who can only talk about the latest eye shadow or chick flick coming out.. it just seems that that is all I feel like sharing. Believe me, if you wanted to hear about my thoughts on McCain-Clinton-Obama's individual plan for taxation if they were elected, dude I could give it to you. Just ask my girlfriends that received a rambling email last night venting about it. haha. But I won't. So what else is there? Randomness about to ensue...

I am so over The Hills. Just annoying. I know you are saying -whatever Ruth I was over it a year ago- don't lie no you weren't. But we both should be over it now. All of it. Team Audrina all the way, Lauren. Sorry chica.
I finally purchased Bobbi Brown's Totally Bare Glitter Lip Gloss from their summer Nudes Collection that I raved about forever ago, and it is even more wonderful than I even dreamed. Ahhhhhh-mazing. Why did I wait so long? But why does it come in such a leeeetle tube that costs 20 smackaroos. Argh.
I am officially done with my job at the church June 1st and am counting down the days! What next? Great question.
I am going to see Radiohead this coming Saturday with my sister. I don't think I am cool enough to go. Seriously. I don't know why but I feel I should be more alternative-hippieish or something. But then, I am going to New York City next weekend with the ladies in honor of Miss Rachel's nuptials. Shoot I know I am cool enough for the Big Apple. Its like the mother ship is calling me home... or maybe that's just Jenn's voice. :)
Even though I know she won't, I would love love for Whitney to win ANTM tomorrow night! We, America, need a plus-size normal-sized woman to win. I would love it. For the rest of us "normal" folk. Man we should all be lucky enough to be as small as Whitney. But I think its going to be that total airhead Ania. However I got these interesting stats from Sephora that should make us all think and realize how fickle beauty really is:
1720: The bigger the mouth, the hotter the girl. Beauty points for girls with a big schnoz to match. 1890: Behold the measurements of a perfect woman: 5'5" and about 160 pounds. Wahoo! 1950: Two words: Marilyn Monroe. No, wait, make that platinum blond. And yes she was size 12. 1980s: Out of necessity, the word "Supermodel" is invented to describe the catwalk glamazons trolling fashion shows with their big hair, long legs, and dingy rocker boyfriends. I think its time for retro - like real vintage - to come back!
I actually really liked What Happens in Vegas. Despite having a totally retarded cliche ending (even by my standards) I thought it was funny. And they had one good bronzer on staff. When you see it you will know what I am talking about. But I would say its a go to see.
I hung out with some random sailor guys from Germany and Australia at our local Chili's tonight (remember we live by the water but still I don't know where my sister meets these people) but they proceeded to make fun of - well everything about me - but specifically my pink-tipped nails. Gasp. Whatever! I am so now I don't care what you say. But yes I have pink-tipped nails. And think they're fab. And they are.
I don't personally think Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo really broke up. Just wait and see. But Lord knows I wish they would. I want my chance to claim me some Romo. But John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are the weirdest hook up ever. What is homegirl thinking? Johnnyboy chews up and spits out ladies like her for brunch. He is not going to pull an Ashton, girlfriend. Don't say I didn't warn you...
New self-tanning product I am dying to buy : Givenchy Tan To Go. I think it is a lot like my beloved Guerlain Terracotta Spray Bronzer Powder Mist but its a smidgen cheaper, getting rave reviews and I am always about trying out new products. Dang it why won't someone pay me to do this!!! Sadly this day in age it seems that everyone thinks they're a beauty and cosmetic connoisseur. Freaking posers.
I have been having to learn the lesson (for a whyyyyyyle now) that I think can be perfectly summed up by the hope that "God doesn't waste a hurt" which my old pastor told me once. Basically in constant survival mode. But then I got one of those emails today (you know - the ones your mom sends you) that I usually ignore and chalk up to cheesy, but in a simplistic way it really spoke to me : Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... its about learning to dance in the rain.

Today

Today. The one day out of the year when you can use that whole "your mom" joke and you won't feel awkward that you might be offending someone. Because it happens to be every mom's day. And it fits in any conversation. So do it. Joke away. Happy Mother's Day everyone - especially to my friends who are already baby mammas (and soon-to-be ones too!) but most importantly to my own spectacular mother who never ceases to amaze me - Sue Dub. She's totally better than your mom. See? Now that might have been offensive. :) I knew I could do it.

I'll have some Dylan McKay with a cherry on top, please

Kelly Taylor is back! After much speculation, it is official now that Jennie Garth will reprise her role as Kelly Taylor on the much hyped about Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off. Not as a series regular, but at least a reoccuring role - supposedly she will be something like a guidance counselor at the high school. Eeek! How awesome is that? She has played such sweet and nice roles lately (don't judge but I loved What I Like About You) I can't wait to see a little Kelly Taylor iciness come out. Let's hope. None of the other major players - Brandon, Donna, Steve, Dylan, etc - are confirmed to be on the show, but lets hope and pray for some major awesome cameos. Totally. Luke Perry yes ma'am.

Lindsay Lohan designed a line of leggings. For reals? Why? I hate leggings in the first place (don't get them) but this would make me despise them regardless. Checking out these promo pics with her fellow hookers models, all I can think to say is eeeeeeeeeew.

One of my new favorite places to shop online, okay at least to screen shop (Get it? Like window shopping? Okay maybe not.), is Revolve Clothing. I love this site. They carry designer labels and have such a great assortment and variety of brands, especially when it comes to their denim collection. I am always looking for a new place that carries my beloved Holy Grail of denim, AG Jeans. But overall they have so many cute lines that are hard to find anywhere - especially being a Houstonian. I just really enjoy scouring the site to find the next thing that I can not afford to buy. Plus RC always offers free 2 day shipping and they make returns as easy as I have ever experienced when it comes to online shopping (they even include a Fedex envelope with your purchase just in case). Oh and if you want to check it out, you can use coupon code "PEOPLESTYLEWATCH" right now and get 20% off everything. You know you wanna.

I am verklempt. Coldplay and Madonna are coming to perform in Houston within two days of each other. Ugh! Oh what to do. After missing Coldplay when they came into town last time, I vowed to never let that happen again... but then again Madonna has not been to Houston to perform since... well since leggings were in the first time around, and I think I would really regret missing that. Plus its at Minute Maid Park. Aaah. Between the ticket prices and concert overload factor, I can not go to both. Oh what to do?!

A.Dooorable.

I just had to share this. How adorable are my girls?! This weekend was prom at Clear Brook High School and these are my Young Life girls that are in my Bible study on Thursday nights. Brittany, Megan, Mandie, Lauren and Suzy. I have been with most of these girls since their freshmen year - I am kinda sad (but excited) they're all growed up now! Although there were 50+ people in their prom group, I am glad they took this picture of our little Thursday night/Panera Bible study group (that's where we meet). And don't worry, although I do emphasize the importance of prayer, I certainly do not encourage them to walk around in this stance on a normal basis. :)

Bag Borrow Boo-yah I can't wait to go renting!

My heart is about to JUMP through my chest. My pulse is racing. There is a lump in my throat. That is how exciting my newest find is. One - do you love designer bags (Chanel, Prada, Gucci, Chloe, Louis Vuitton, Fendi) but probably can't afford them even close to their full price but sometimes wish you could have one to cherish and hold for at least a month? Two - are you a Netflix junkie? Well if you answered "yes" to both of those questions, hold on to your britches... this is gonna be good.

There is a new website that is the total BUZZ on the street right now.
Bag Borrow or Steal. It is a website where you can RENT authentic designer handbags, jewelry and sunglasses for a week or a month and return them - just like Netflix. No joke. I do not joke about the opportunity to hold Chanel couture in my hands. Now obviously some of these bags are pricey, even to "borrow" them for a week would not be in your budget... there are some cheaper ones that are so doable... but if you wanna go all out and splurge if you have a special occasion coming up and you want to try and be mistaken for Carrie Bradshaw, this is the place to do it realistically.

Plus, how many times have you bought a handbag... loved it, obsessed over it, oooed and awwwed over it... and then about a month later it is so yesterday's news. Exactly. This can be your cure! The website even has an outlet store online where you can purchase "never-carried" and "gently-carried" designer labels at low low prices. Go check it out and have fun. Watch that your drool doesn't get all over your keyboard. Oh and yes you are more than welcome to thank me later.

No its not a holiday celebrating mayonnaise

Happy Cinco De Mayo to everyone! What is Cinco De Mayo celebrate anyway? Shoot I dunno. Look it up if its really bothering you and you have to know. If nothing else its an excuse to drink margaritas on a Monday, right? Do it.

I had a lovely Cinco De Mayo Eve (yesterday, geniuses). Yes it was also my bday. Instead of actually teaching my youth in Sunday School, I brought a cookie cake in honor of me, so I filled them with sugar and had a ping pong tournament at 9:30 in the morning (I am clearly an awesome youth leader), then I got jam packed full of Pappadeaux with the fam (more food, obviously) and my Jenn sent me my current Holy Grail makeup item that I couldn't find here in Houston : Bare Necessity Dazzleglass. Good call girlie. But... dun dun dun... after months of griping and yearning.... I finally got my iPhone. Laaaaaaah (cue light shining from heaven). I was so surprised, shocked and elated. I love it. I still can't believe my parents splurged like that. They must love me or something. And I basically played with it the rest of the day until I grabbed dinner with a couple friends. Dude all you do is eat on your birthday. But anyway if you called or tried to message me yesterday and couldn't get through, it was because I am too much of an technological idiot to actually figure out how to work a contraption like an iPhone. I probably should have thought of that earlier, huh? Well then again maybe when you get to be 28 23 years old, your mind starts to go. Bad timing on my part -if there is ever going to be a time you get phone texts and messages, its on yo birthday. But I almost got it down. Now all it needs is a puuurty pink cover and I'm set. :)

So it seems everyone and their dog went to see Iron Man this weekend. Sheesh. Although I want to see this movie, when I had the chance I went and saw Made of Honor. Chick flicks always win me over what can I say. Did I love it? Of course! Michelle Monaghan was uber adorable in it and she and McDreamy actually were really great together - although there were some mad cheese parts in the film. You just have to look past those. Although I doubt I can find a guy in America who hasn't seen Iron Man yet to go with me, I do hope to go see it soon. I am a sucker for comic book blockbusters. Although I am not looking forward to another remake of The Hulk (Edward Norton. Really?), I am thinking this one is going to take the freaking cake (although am a bit worried about how disturbing the whole Heath Legder/Joker situation is going to be. I am a girl okay. We have hearts.). The second trailer for The Dark Knight was released yesterday so you can check it out if that suits your fancy. It just looks awesome. However if I am totally honest with you, the nerd in me is going to seep out as I admit that I am probably most looking forward to seeing animated-but-still-Star-Wars-and-even-George-Lucas-is-backing-it-so-I-can-not-help-myself Star Wars: The Clone Wars in theaters August 15th. There is no need to comment on this. I know.

Men in Trees is officially cancelled. Boo.

What is May 4th?

On this day in history...
1494 - Christopher Columbus discovers Jamaica (yeah mon)
1626 - What is now Manhattan was founded by Dutch explorer Peter Minuit.
1904 - Work begins on the Panama Canal.
1927 - The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was founded. (Hello Oscar!)
1942 - Battle of the Coral Sea, the first naval clash fought entirely with carrier aircraft, began during World War II.
1979 - Margaret Thatcher becomes the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

May 4th is also...
International Firefighter's Day
National Weather Observers Day (no joke)
People's Republic of China's Youth and Literary Day (known as the May Fourth Movement)
The Netherlands Rememberance of the Dead Day
Cinco De Mayo Eve (what I called it as a young girl growing up in Galveston, TX)

Oh. Its also my birthday. Whatever. :) I am claiming its my 23rd. Just go with it.

Its goin' online! That is so 2008. Dance War Baby!

UPDATE (8/3/2008)
LIVE Baby! Tomorrow night Miley Cyrus is hosting the Teen Choice Awards - who cares, right? - but the cool part is that ACDC and M&M Cru are going to battle live during the award shows. I have a feeling there are going to be some insane cameos. I think it'll be really cool. Thanks to me, you know exactly what is going on!

UPDATE (6/10/2008)
Miley and Mandy (now known as the M&M Cru) have RETALIATED (see vid below). Daaaaang. This stuff is off da hook. Its just hella cool. Even though M&M Cru had their random but cool celebrity cameos (albeit more C-listers than ACDC including Channing Tatum, Ryan Seacrest, Joey Fatone, Carson Daly, Chris Kattan, Jenna Dewan, Emmanuelle Chriqui) which is always fun to see... more importantly was their wicked cool dancers. They had some of the best dance crews and dancers in the country in this compilation! I mean add all of them with a magic trick by freakin' David Blaine?. A pretty impressive rebuff to ACDC. (Although I think ACDC has a slight edge over M&M... in my humble personal opinion) I hope these two groups keep these going. I love love love it. So fun to watch! Such insane dancing.

UPDATE (5/22/2008)
Miley and Mandy have made a little update video declaring they will be releasing their next battle against ACDC on June 10th. I love all the effort these people are putting in! Can't wait to see what kind of cameos Miley can wrestle up.

UPDATE (5/16/2008)

Even with all of her Vanity Fair scandalousness drama, it seems Miley is getting ready to retaliate. I was afraid she wasn't going to! That would be a shame. Here is a pic from yesterday of the Miley&Mandy crew filming their next attack on ACDC so it should be coming out soon. Hmmm...

UPDATE (4/30/2008)

Okay guys you gotta see this. Whether you appreciate the dancing or not, this is awesome. ACDC has finally retaliated tonight... and its sick! And it seems to be all about how many celebrity cameos you can pack into one dance video. I love it! So ACDC's new video has cameos by Adam Sandler, Lindsay Lohan, Chris Brown, Amanda Bynes, Diana Ross, Robert Hoffman (my boo!), JabbaWokeez (holla!), Brittany Snow, Lil John to name a few.... all the while dancing to Hannah Montana. So tight. Check it out. Miley&Mandy are going down.

UPDATE (4/29/08) :

ACDC has responded to Miley&Mandy! Well sorda. They are going to officially respond tomorrow April 30th at 8pm. Can't wait! Oh the suspense they are creating...

UPDATE (4/14/08) :

I know most people are not as exciting about this as I am... but its so freaking cool. Miley and Mandy have responded to ACDC call to arms and its actually pretty good (see below)... although not as good as ACDC of course. But they are taking this stuff seriously. Man this is gonna be good. And M&M do have an awesome cameos at the end if you stick around to watch... DO IT! Plus you know ACDC is gonna retaliate! Can't wait.

4/12/2008 :

Okay I personally think this is really funny. You might not care, but try! Do you know about the Youtube videos of Miley Cyrus and her friend Mandy that everyone on the internet has made such a big deal about [their Youtube site]... okay maybe not but for some reason people really have made a big deal about it and their great dancing (huh?) and of course I keep my finger on the pulse of all important goings on in the world of pop culture.

Sooooo as a result, Step Up 2: The Streets director Jon M. Chu and Adam Sevani (who played Moose in the movie) have waged a war against America's sweetheart (aka Miley Cyrus) and her best friend and YouTube video show co-host Mandy. Why, you may ask? Believe it or not, it's all in the name of dance. Because Miley/Mandy 'ain't all that. Jon's officially taking the dance contest out of the streets and is trying to move it online for what he calls "the biggest online dance battle ever... get ready for the battle of the century!! Adam Sevani (Moose) and I and a bunch of the Step Up 2 crew as well as our friends have challenged Miley Cyrus and Mandy to an online dance battle! Let's blow this thing up and hopefully...unless they're way too scared...they'll respond.The rules to the battle are as follows: there are no rules. They can recruit whoever they want to their crew and we can too.We are the Adam/Chu Dance Crew otherwise known as ACDC. Be Prepared. It's on."

You can check out Jon and Adam's crew, ACDC, in their really funny video below challenging Miley&Mandy to a dancin' duel... if nothing else watch it because of the sick dancing :

This is hard!

This is the bee-u-tee of live reality television... you can check it out in case you missed Paula's "performance" tonight (drinking something other than Coca Cola Classic). She downright crazy... sippin' on crazy and juice!

Oh Em Eff Gee. The Good. The Bad.

Bad : Okay this would not be considered bad or upsetting per say by pretty much 99.9% of America, but its bad for me darn-it. So, I have been waiting in excited anticipation for months now for the release of MAC's Dazzleglass collection. So much so that I have been checking the MAC website and MAC counters periodically to make sure I knew exactly when this would be released because the date has gone back and forth the past few months and I knew certain shades would be sold out almost instantly - and I had to get my hands on those! Dazzleglass has actually been released officially on the website since last Wednesday, but I have learned my lesson with being a frequent internet cosmetic purchaser (should I put that on my resume?) and I wanted to see the shades in person before I bought them. So when I perused my local MAC counter last week, I asked them when the collection would be put out on the shelves, and they said "next Thursday", which would be this coming Thursday. I think I annoyed them because I kept asking "are you sure?". They were sure.

So - Breathe. I almost can't get this out - you can only imagine my horror (no exaggeration needed here) when I walked past Dillard's this morning on the way back from returning some shoes and saw a slightly-tainted-days-old Dazzleglass display sitting on the counter. What the?! Its only Tuesday. Oh Em Eff Gee. I asked the rep why the freak was this already out for sale when I was told otherwise, and she said they "decided" to put it on Friday. They?! Friday! And what did I tell you - they were already sold out of two shades. Insert expletives here. I am so sad. I prepare in advance to avoid situations such as these. I am sure that probably if I drove around to every department and MAC store in Houston I would find these shades, but lets be honest I do have some priorities people. So I went ahead and bought the Baby Sparks shade which is a lovely pastel pink and even though I don't know what it looks like, I might have to break my own rule and buy Bare Necessities shade online since obviously the universe doesn't want me to have it yet. Sheesh. If any of you want a fun new shimmery lip gloss from this collection for the summer, you better run out and gank one now. See - I told you that you would not think it was bad but hey its my blog so there.

Good: Okay once again, this would probably would not be considered good by pretty much 99.9% of America, but it brought a smile to my face and totally offset my lip gloss debacle for the day. So I am single (groan) and don't date all that much. For many obvious reasons (hello! to start I just blogged for five minutes about lip gloss for goodness sakes) but also because I admit I am extremely picky and won't date just anyone (whole other subject saved for - with you? - well probably never). Plus almost all of my friends are married and the ones who aren't are in serious relationships, so I can't even date vicariously through anyone anymore. So its just me. And my crazy mind. And this is what happens. Now I have to preface this by saying that I admit I have a bit of a dysfunction. Just one, Ruth??? Shut up. Since I have yet to meet a guy who lives up to my expectations in person, this is what I do : sometimes I will hear about a guy that I have never met, usually through a friend or acquaintance, and I fall in love with... his stats... and decide he's the one. He's it. If only God would have us meet! Purely by his stats on paper - usually surrounding his Godliness and spirituality, ministry, age, personality, job, background (Aggies always get bonus points), looks, etc etc etc. I rarely, if ever, end up meeting these mystery men and if I ever do the paper slowly begins to crumble and my bubble is burst. Ohhhh but sadly this does not stop me from continuing to do so in my head.

Today I "found" a doozie! I ran into an old friend of mine today, I hadn't really seen her since high school. So as we were catching up she was telling me about the church she and her husband were involved in... and when she found out I was single she started going on about how I need to come to her church because she knew some single guys my age - yada yada yada - and then she started going on about this one guy... about how he's so Godly and nice/tall/cute and his only downfall is how picky he is about the women he dates' spirituality (believable? ummmm) and then goes on about how he works in the church's youth ministry blah blah blah... yes he sounds good on paper to me but I was ready to chuck it up to a probably-not-but-thanks-for-thinking-of-me... until... just wait for it... its coming... she goes "Crap! He's leaving for the next seven months or so for football" seeming like it was no big deal. I figured he was a coach somewhere or something like that. Then she goes on to tell me that he just signed on to play in the fall for -ohmygoodnesscatchmybreath- the Green Bay Packers. Aaaaa! I KNOW! Its okay you're allowed to be excited too. I kinda spazzed out in front of her out of excitement that he was a Packer and I am sure I freaked her out. Anyone who knows me at all knows of my obsession, passion and love for the Green Bay Packers and I don't care if this guy signed on to be the freaking water boy - I'll take him! See? This is how it works. So on paper he's perfect for me (hello! I'm perfect for him) and if only I was to meet him we would be two peas in a love pod. A freakin' Jesus-lovin'-Packer. Wow. Anyways, I will probably never actually meet him (especially now that he'll be around NFL hoochie-groupies) and if for some reason I ever do we never had this conversation (and this blog post will be deleted) but for now... in my little psychotic mind... I think he's the one. :)

Random other Good/Bads:
BAD: Since I missed the draft this weekend, I have been slowly catching up on the goings on. Marcellus Bennett is now a Dallas Cowboy? Uggggggh. Ma'Bennett??? Of all teams in the entire league. I am quite annoyed (yet surprised he went in the second round... I saw him as a third+ rounder for sure). I hate the Cowboys. And people with overly blessed lives. Like Chris Long. It must be tough growing up as Howie Long's son and then having to be picked second in the NFL Draft. Oh do I sound jealous? Heck yeah I am! Then there's the Manning family and that's a whole other ball game.
GOOD: 27 Dresses came out on DVD today. Enough said.
BAD: Alex picked Chelsea over Amanda last night. Really? Chelsea? She's a weird weird weird girl. Almost tranny-like?Amanda was perfect for him. But honestly he's mesmerized by Shayne and I believe he is already planning to pick her in the end (and I love it that he doesn't care that she carries blush in her ski vest! That's so something I would do!), so it doesn't really matter who the runner-up is, does it?
GOOD: Finally I am fixing up my bed to see if it can make a difference with my back pain. Since I can't afford a new mattress (at least the type I need), we put some wood planks underneath my current one to firm it up... and then I bought a big ole therapeutic mattress pad today to put on top and bipidy-bopidy-boo I have a new homemade mattress. I hope it helps!

Let's hear it for the boys

Sorry I have been a sporadic blogger lately - compared to normally being just a random one. I have had so much going on getting ready for my youth group's retreat this past weekend, plus getting plans and paperwork done for our trip to Florida this summer. Seriously whoever said responsibility is fun was wrong. Wait, I am not sure if anyone has ever said that. Especially anyone working with ages 12-18. I trumped ya right there didn't I? Plus I had some of my medications (that I go to the Dallas doctor for) changed and have not been reacting well to them so I have been a little sicky, a little crazy - compared to normally just being crazy of course. Then add in having write an official goal statement to get into graduate school that I absolutely do not want to attend to start with (I found out that 'ain't easy... takes BS to a whole other level).... and toss in the fact that my Get-Ruth-Lip-Gloss monetary fund has begun to run low and - abracadabra - you got little bloggage. See? So its not really my fault. I'll blame it on you. Why not, right? You and those Al Quaeda killer Mystic Tan fumes. I bet they poisoned me. Sheesh.

Four random things I am loving right now:
Jason Segel. I finally saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall and I really liked it. Regardless of the nudity (serious overkill J-Dog) I fell oh so much more in love with him. Plus, my type is definitely big, tall funny guys so I think we are definitely a match made in heaven. Okay probably just strictly in my head but whatever. If you are okay with the raunchier comedies, FSM is actually really sweet and Russell Brand's hilarity is over-the-top awesome.
Taylor Swift. No joke. I have kept this a guilty pleasure to myself for a while now but I feel I can hide it no more. She is bringing that old country part out of me out into the open again that has been weighed down all these years (usually favoring my white chocolate and mellow side). I am obsessed with her music - its so innocently precious and fun and I am so intrigued someone so young can write like that. "Picture to Burn" and "Our Song" are just too tres cute and take you back to when you were eighteen as well. If you ever feel you want to dive into a country mood, check her out. Just kinda fun.
The Democratic Primary Process Shenanigans. Sorry but its kinda beautifully entertaining to me. Kinda? No. It absolutely is. Now granted, I am not at all happy with the most conserative candidate that is going to be offered to us (John somethingortheother), but there is nothing I can do about it by this point and I have finally come to grips with that. So in the meantime, to be able to watch these Democrat candidates rip each other to shreds, all the while splitting the liberal base in two and shoving radical-in-sheeps-clothing-Obama off his undeserved pedestal... it is like pure entertainment to me. They are doing it to themselves!!! Howard Dean must be going hog-wild crazy right about now. I am very interested to see how this all plays out between the two of them... and we still have until August 25th to get to the DNC in Denver. Plenty of time for more truth to come out. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen baby!
The return of The Office. Its been completely living up to expectations and it like we have something to look forward to each week again. "... how can I be lonely with my boys? Like a famous person once said, boys on the side. But I don't. I disagree. I say, let's hear it for the boys." - Michael Scott. Werd.

It just depends what your definition of success is

I am literally exhausted to the point of loopy. My right leg is swollen and completely bruised ankle-to-knee resulting from a bench falling on it during our s'mores campfire. I am inspired from and challenged by an amazing speaker we had this weekend, as I am always surprised how as a leader I feel God blesses me as much as He does the students. My back has reached a new level of pain from all the walking, hiking, sitting and standing and "enjoying" a lovely and weak camp-like bunk bed for two nights. There is still a nice goopy consistency to my hair, since from experience I know it takes multiple washes to fully remove shaving cream from it after we played a rendition of shaving cream/silly string tag in the dark late last night (I was naive enough to think as a leader I might actually stay clean). All these things woven together.... simply prove it was a successful youth retreat! Although after months of details and planning and a long weekend... I am so glad its over. :) It was worth missing the NFL draft this weekend (oh man but it hurt so so bad to!)Fun lookin' bunch huh... and yes lots o boys. Now onto planning our trip to Panama City Beach, FL in July... uuuuuuuuh it never ends!

Its beginning to look alot like... SATC Movie time

Miss Fergie has recorded the theme song for The Sex and The City Movie called "Labels or Love". You likey? I likey. But lets be honest... I love Fergie. I love SATC. I love designer labels (which are name-dropped in this song like rain during a hurricane baby)... wasn't a tough one to call. Talk about an amazing combination of fabulousity. But seriously its funky and quite Fergalicious. Love it. You can listen to it for yourself below. Enjoy!

"Don't cry. Buy a bag and get over it." Awesomeness.

Spray those imperfections to the wind

Are you a foundation user but tire of the constant time its application with a sponge takes? Yeah I can imagine. Its annoying. Well then do I ever have the perfect product for you. The other day I was perusing a Christian Dior counter checking out their new Dior Goldrush Summer 2008 collection (which is absolute fabulous my dears, by the way) and I have been wanting to try their spray foundation product out for a while now so I just went for it. Dior DiorSkin AirFlash Spray Foundation. Its awesome. So so so easy to apply : pin your hair back, close your eyes, spray spray spray, it dries instantly and thats it. Your foundation is applied. On every inch and crevasse of your face. It has a pretty, matte finish to it and it lasted throughout the day until I had to wash it off purposefully. It looks great on the skin and covers all your imperfections... perfectly. One hint: apply first before mascara or any other products (except concealer) because it will cover your eyelashes and such. Now, I personally don't wear foundation, for many reasons but one being that my skin is too oily that it looks nastacious (thats "nasty" for you who don't speak Ruthese) so I am not going to purchase this product myself, but if I was going to wear foundation, I would totally snag this spray. Only downside would be the price which is $60 but comparative to other quality foundations its not too bad (I know you boys out there are like - whaaaa?). I personally would use the Cameo 202 shade... but I think you should go to your local Christian Dior counter (or Sephora) and try it out. If not only just for fun. Spray those imperfections away!

And if you are looking for a new spring/summer fragrance, please look no further than the new Elizabeth Arden Mediterranean Breeze. It is spectacular, and amazingly warm but sweet at the same time with top notes of white nectarine, bergamot, and sparkling grapefruit. It brings the essence of the Mediterranean to your senses... and will remind you of that cruise you took to the Greek Isles a few years back. Yeah. You remember that one. No but seriously I am always trying to show you new summer scents to try out, and this one ranks up there. Lovely.

You're so rad

This. Is. Funny. Even if you don't watch the TV show How I Met Your Mother, you should still think this is awesome. And if you don't, well then I don't like you because you have no sense of humor. Basically a character on the show, Robin, has turned out to be a Canadian pop star known as Robin Sparkles when she was sixteen in the 80's... her first video was simply stellar and now this is her second long lost music video, "Sandcastles in the Sand" - full on with cameos by James Van Der Beek, Tiffany (as in "we tumbled to the ground and then we say..."), and Alan Thicke (Dr. Seaver!). I love it.

Oh how I miss the 80s. Oh how I love this show. Someone told me on Saturday night that it is impossible for me to love Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia and HIMYM at the same time because they are use such different forms of humor. Well I disagree with this. It is possible! You just have to have a very complex sense of humor like I do... with a little bit of dysfunction and immaturity mixed in of course.

You look like a smurf, idiot

And what a whore Jessica Simpson is. Well an attention whore anyway. Selling these pathetic photos to People. Sheesh. It was Tony's birthday party. Isn't anything sacred? I wouldn't exploit you during your birthday celebration, Tony. Can't you just see Tony biting his fingers and thinking to himself "ummm awkward! How embarassing. I need to ditch this Smurfette chick. I wonder if Ruth is in town.." Dope I was! And I will say that as I was driving through Dallas today, I saw a truck that was labeled Romo's Repairs or something of that nature and I faaaa-reaked out and was convinced it was Tony's dad's company... or his uncle or someone. It was a darn Romo and I just knew they could connect me with Tony. Sadly I was thisclose to following that vehicle... anywhere. But I didn't and headed back to Houston. Devil!

Peasant? Puh-lease. I am an associate!

I know I am sorry I have been a bad lazy blogger lately. Not much going on and I haven't felt up to writing much... but mostly haven't had much to write about and thoughts like "c'mon, they can only hear about my new favorite lip gloss so many times" have been filling my mind. So in a way I have been giving you a break. I am actually in Dallas right now - I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. Ugh. Only upside? Getting Centerville, TX barbeque on the ride up here (okay lets be honest I'll be getting it on the way back as well) but even better is I got to go hear Tommy Nelson speak tonight at Denton Bible Church. That man blows my mind. Freaking amazing. What I wouldn't do to go to that church.

Besides that I had a somewhat eventful weekend : I found out I could not order wine at a real Italian restaurant which was embarassing and disappointing considering I have been so proud of myself for finally grasping what a Shiraz is; saw a movie psh. whatever. flip cup. enough said; had a beautifully-weathered lunch in Kemah with some high school friends - I am loving this weather; went to a wedding couples shower (of course); watched some UFC - go GSP! - that dude is so hawt; drove to Dallas. Yep thats about it. Sorry its eventful for me. What else has been going on? Hmmm....

I have a new-well-not-quite-new-but-re-found love for Charlotte Russe and Real World. Seriously. First off I stopped shopping at Charlotte Russe a while back because while I became mesmerized for a period of time by their quasi-cute tops and mega-cheap prices, cheeeeeeap seemed to be the resounding adjective when it came to their clothes. So I had to stop that all together. However, when I stopped in my local CR the other day, no-mo-money-bags here came across some cute, cheap springy tops for, like, 18 bucks and once again became a believer. Okay until they fall apart next week and I can gripe about them again... but if not that what are blogs for? Why can't H&M locate to Houston already? Sheesh. I'm waiting! As for da Real World, I have tried to make myself stopped watching the seasons the past few years... they have been getting so gross, generic, retarded and predictable (all together of course!) and so I haven't paid much attention to them (however I will never give up on the wonderful challenges!!!). Sadly my DVR automatically records them (whats a girl to do?) and so I happened to catch the season premiere of their newest debacle, Hollywood. Holy moly Hollywood canoly I might be hooked. If only to see PrettyBoy Greg walking down the streets calling people "peasants" and "vagabonds" and women he dates "associates". Seriously he's past ridiculous. You can't write this stuff. He think he is God's gift to... well... air. And its hilarious to watch. I am totally diggin' Will's chili - I think he's adorable. Plus their pad is so pimp - its a freaking movie set for goodness sakes. Amazing.

Oh and my last chance to become a part of the Manning family has gone down the tubes after Eli got married yesterday. I mean I would have preferred Peyton but would have totally settled for Eli. Maybe I will have to scout out Dallas for Tony while I am here and snag him away from Jessica. Totally doable. And do like how I refer to all of these people by their first name like I know them? Well its because I do. At least in my little fantasy world you would call daydreams they are my friends.

I am so glad decent television is back on. And this week marks the return of more shows - Grey's, Lost, Ugly... and if those new promos for Gossip Girl (featuring awesome music by one of my new fav bands, The Kills, by the by) don't make you want to check out that show... I do not know what will. Hawt. However, I personally think The Office has outdone itself and set the bar way too high last week with The Dinner Party. It was the freaking funniest thing I have ever seen. But... when Jim showed us the "bought it one week after we started dating" ring on Thursday and then got down on one knee... to tie his shoe, I almost lost it. Swoon. So adorable. I am such a girl. They do crap like that for people just like me. And thats why I love them. Oh and just for those of you wondering... The Office spin-off is a definite go but no it will not be centered around Dwight Schrute like some assumed. Apparently its going to be a whole new cast with maybe one or two overlaps with the original... but all our Office favs should be staying in place. Whew! The Michael-Dwight twosome is too good to get rid of.

Okay so those are all the rambling thoughts I have on my mind right now. Have a great manic Monday....

Truckers shmuckers

Did everyone else know there is this big trucker's strike going on right now? Genius over here did not realize that. Blonde moment I guess (one of many). We are getting a new fence built in our backyard and I have been getting annoyed that the fence builder people took the time to rip down the entire old one but have, literally, only put up like eight spokes (?) of the new one. They did that like almost a week ago. So we basically haven't had a fence for a week and its not fun to deal with when you have three big dogs. Anyway, I found myself wondering where the fence builder people were because they need to finish and add to their eight spokes... I assumed they were being lazy and nondiligent (is that a word? oh well its redundant anyway). But then I come to find out that they don't have any new wood spokes because of the trucker's strike (gasp!) and won't have any until its over. Excuse me? Who would ever have imagined I would care the status of a nationwide trucker's strike... but I do! Its almost... almost... as bad as the Writer's Guild of America Strike of '07-'08. Then again, that's just entertainment isn't it? Hmmm... priorities....

Should it be this easy to be tacky?

Last night was Bay Area Young Life's Annual Tacky Prom... probably my last one (whew!) and it 'ain't that hard for me to be tacky. Sadly. I mean, hello, I already own a hair crimper, tons of bright neon-colored makeup and jewelry, gallons of glitter… its almost like I am made to be tacky. What? Hmmm... maybe I should think about that last statement. Anywho, I did have to go shopping with one of my girls at a thrift store for a perfect outfit but I won’t lie – I hate going to thrift stores. They are so dirty and smelly. And have icky old clothes. Ugggggh. I am such a big girly baby but whatever that’s who I am. Yeah I don’t do vintage... only fake vintage… like the vintage clothes made freshly new from the factory but have been purposely faded or crinkled or whatever to look vintage but then put out on new clothes store shelves. Okay so I would wear real vintage Chanel couture or Tiffany & Co. jewelry but let’s be honest that’s not what we are referring to. That said, I did buy a dress - if you can call it that - from the thrift store and it was more like a silver metallic moo-moo spectaculousness. Serious moo-moo and dang tacky. Belt it with some bright gold and you got some ugly. I think I outdid myself this year. Like yes you’re supposed to be tacky… but I had kids and such looking at me with weird faces exclaiming “wow that’s tacky”. Yeah it is. Point. Hello! Ugly or not, I enjoyed hanging out and dancing with my kids and wearing bright purple makeup. Duh.

What comes between you and your Calvins?

"You wanna know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing." My Calvin Klein lip gloss, that is. Who knew that ck Calvin Klein was good for more than good undergarments and cute jeans (circa 15 years ago of course - does anyone wear these anymore)? They actually just "re-launched" their cosmetics line (wasn't much of a first launch) earlier this year and I really had no reason to pay attention to it. That is, until I was walking through Dillards on the way to my car on Friday when a lip gloss color caught my eye. Even just by my peripheral vision the color grabbed my attention it was so amazing. I walked over and and was instantly annoyed when I saw that it was CK cosmetics and was about to dismiss it and walk away (do it!)... but decided to try it on... just in case. It was their Delicious Pout Flavored Lip Gloss in the Dew Drop shade and well whadayaknow it was fantastic! Not only was it a perfect color (light peachy bronzy nude with silver specs), it had a great consistency of glossiness and it tasted wonderful. So often I disregard the terrible taste some lip glosses create in order for their fabulous appearance - beauty is pain, people - so this was just a huge bonus. I love it. And it gets better - the lip gloss is only $13 which is cheaper than most (okay all) lip products I normally purchase. So what does that mean in Ruth's mind? Well then you can buy two! And thats just what I did... okay well this was the justification I used in my head because I couldn't decide between Dew Drop and Sparkle (see pic). Plus I was in a very "I feel sorry for myself" state of mind and whenever I am there, I always justify lip gloss purchases. Some people eat chocolate, I buy lip gloss. Okay crap lets be honest I buy lip gloss and eat chocolate. Double whammy. That's why I shouldn't be allowed in public. Out. Of. Control. But, if you wanna check out some new cheaper lip glosses, these are great (and taste lovely!)... you should be able to find them online at Sephora (duh) and at most Dillards department stores.

Okay so I might as well admit brag about my new handbag purchase - only because it has been the center of conversation wherever I go. First of all, I only got it because my uber-cute-but-cheap Aldo purse snapped and broke in the middle of a restaurant last week, quite embarassingly spewing the contents everywhere (talk about a lip gloss explosion!). Needless to say it was time for a new purse. And when I saw this one, I couldn't take my eyes off it - bright, metallic baby pink, with a little bling here and there - it was just perfect and so Spring and screamed... me. It might be too much for most people but I dont care. I love it. Its buy a new handbag designer - Kathy Van Zeeland - and I love her designs. Its for you ladies out there who enjoy a little spunk, a little bling, a little flare. So everyone from my YL kids, to my pastor, to the checker at Randalls has mentioned since I have carried it. If nothing else, its an icebreaker. A smokin' hot one. Hollaaaaa!

Side note: I am pissed that Trevor Immelman is married. He's hot. And so now. You know, since he would have been a possibility for me had he been single. And I am surprised that Bret picked Ambre - I thought Daisy Duck was a shoo-in. I can't wait for the reunion show to find out what really happened when the cameras stopped rollin'. Ten million dollars says they aren't together. If you don't know what I am talking about at all right now, you obviously are not so now. :)

Where trouble melts like lemon drops

I must confess I am not a fan of American Idol like the rest of this nation. Just never have been (Dancing With The Stars is another story!). I don't watch it at all. However, I do love Aggies (whoop!) and love love love me some dreads, so naturally I have kept tags on our lil Jason Castro... and evenmoreso I loooooove the rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" he did this week, which was originally performed by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole (50 First Dates, anyone? Awesome movie). So in case you missed Jason performing it on Tuesday night's show.. check it out. I mean he's playing a yukalaylee for goodness sakes. Amazing. I hope he wins. But honestly I don't know about any of the other contestants so I'm completely biased and uninformed. At least I admit it.

Romantic comedy EXPLOSION

Although we have been seriously lacking in romantic comedies as of late, even I, a true fan and connoisseur of them, is shocked by the somewhat explosion of them that are arriving in theaters in the next month. Its like a chick flick bonanza! I love it. But sadly that also means that some of them will do well, some will flop... because most people (not including yours truly) will not see them all. So starting next Friday, a new one is being released every week for next four weeks (Please contain your excitement. No seriously. Sit down. Contain it.):

April 18th - Forgetting Sarah Marshall

This film I forsee as being highly successful - Judd Apatow (pronounced like "pow" not "toe" by the way) is like comedic gold these days and I personally can not wait to see this movie. Although I am not fond of Apatow's normal raunchy-crass-factor, I can not pass up the amazingly stellar Kristen Bell (I'm obsessed), Jason Segel and the hilarious Russell Brand (he's like a crackhead on crack. So funny!). Jason Segel, who I love from How I Met Your Mother, wrote and stars in this film and I think it looks so funny and sweet... even if only to revive Mila Kunis' career... where has she been since That 70's Show? I guess stowed away with longtime boyfriend Macaulay Caulkin. Oh and that Family Guy thing. [trailer]

April 25th - Baby Mama

Okay I am not sure how romantical this one is, but it is definitely a comedy. Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are two of my fav female comedians (okay is it comediennes? Nevertheless I believe that Kristen Wiig has stolen my top spot in this category) and this movie does look really funny and I laugh out loud when I watch the preview. Although I am a tad afraid of it being one of those movies where all of the funny scenes are shown in the previews so when you get to actually watch the movie they are no longer funny... but I am hoping this is not the case. Tina does not mess around. Plus... you know just the fact that its called Baby Mama makes me wanna check it out. I'm so white chocolate. [trailer]

May 2nd - Made of Honor

I should have posted about this movie months ago and if so it would have gone something like this : "OMG I can not wait for this film! Its like My Best Friend's Wedding... but in reverse... with McDreamy! It just does not get better than that." But now - overexposure is an understatement. If I see one more commercial or advertisement for this film I might boycott it altogether. Its getting just downright annoying. And its release is still almost four weeks away! I wanna be like - Hello! Suckers like me are your target audience. We get it already. Romantic comedy, hot guy, kiss kiss, unrealistic happy ending. Duh. We're going to see it, aight? As annoyed as I am getting, I still want to see it and will - and Michelle Monaghan is uber adorable you will love her if you haven't seen her already in MI:3 or Heartbreak Kid. If nothing else, true McDreamy fans will enjoy seeing him not having to console Meredith. Seriously. [trailer]

May 9th - What Happens in Vegas

Or also known as How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days 2. Same premise pretty much right? But hey if they can squeeze a few more bucks out of us why not? And oh they will. For the record, I am not a Cameron Diaz fan, but I want to see it anyway. Maybe I am liking her more since she broke up with my JT? Hmmm... but the preview actually makes the movie look adorable and it reminds me of the Ashton Kutcher in Just Married (which I love!!!) not the cougar-lovin-step-father-kaballah-practicing-serious Ashton that we have "seen" as of late. So I do actually want to see this... plus for some reason Cameron Diaz always seems to have the most amazing wardrobes in her movies and I always enjoy the fashion they use on her. Oh wait. I forgot. Its because she's a stick insect. Whatever. [trailer]

And for those of you who enjoy romantic comedies but do not actually go to see movies in theaters (Who are you?! You must be daft. Totally missing out. Just kidding I realize people might think its a waste of money, I am just not one of them!) here are some that are coming out soon on DVD : Juno (April 15), 27 Dresses (April 29), and Bella (May 6).

Tortured to be tan

Disclaimer : I do realize this review is so five years ago. No one realizes this more than me. Nevertheless....

I have decided that Mystic Tan is simply an Al Qaeda torture chamber disguised as a tool for insecure pasty white women. Seriously! Long story short, I have actually never done it before... before tonight. And before you gasp out loud - don't worry I always stress about work on being bronze - its just usually either the old-fashioned-skin-cancer-inducing UV rays that do the trick, or my own sunless tanner application. So for some reason I decided to forgo the actual tanning beds at my local Darque Tan and try out the spray crap. Big mistake. I hated it. I almost suffocated. I did it all wrong.

First I got all stressed out by the receptionist's instructions for putting barrier cream on - you are supposed to put is all over your hands and feet - she went on and on about my nail beds being hidden sponges for the tanning spray and dolloped the heck out of them. Then I started the machine, and right when I was about to step in, I realized I had forgotten to put my hair cap on to cover my hair (aaaah orange hair!) so I quickly ran out and put it on, removing all the barrier cream I had put all over my hands and getting it everywhere. Great. White spots gallore. Oh. It gets worse.

So I step in and close the door. Yes its like a chamber - all enclosed. A torture chamber. You are supposed to listen to the instructions that are "given over the speaker". Speaker my white booty! It was more like a faint noise... like you knew someone was speaking, maybe, but couldn't make out the words. So all of a sudden the chamber starts spraying and I quickly freak out to close (squeeze) my eyes and I get the tanning spray in my mouth and I start coughing and thats when I realize - I can't freaking breathe. Yeah geniuses - so its an enclosed chamber - with no air and only paint-like mist filling up every square inch. How is this not an Al Qaeda device??? So being the spaz that I am, I quickly search for at least an air hole or something to reassure myself I am not going to literally suffocate and finally find one in the corner and its the size of a nickel. At maximum. So what happens while I am searching for this? Duh I get it in my opened eyes. Lovely! So I am blind and suffocating and realizing that skin cancer does not sound that awful in comparison. What am I doing in here? Anyway to top it off, I realize that the whole time my face has been cringed up in either a holding-my-breath-underwater-cheeks-puffed-out-blowfish type of way or in a my-eye-my-eye-I-got-it-in-my-eye type of way. Yeah well when you cringe your face, the tanning mist will not get applied evenly and won't be able to get in those creases, so then I start freaking out that I will have self-tanner-induced crow's feet. Seriously?

So then it stops spraying. Breathe - oh wait you can't. There's paint-mist particles just hanging in the air. And now in my lungs. So I calmly, of course (yeah right), wait for my "instructions" to tell me to turn around (???) but since they are so faint all I hear are the tanning paint particles settling around me. Suddenly its starts spraying again. I quickly try to turn around, almost falling over, and realize a section of my chest is going to be darker then the rest of my body since it got double duty. It so Ross from Friends. He did the same thing. But like in 2002. Shouldn't I have figured it out by now?

So 'twas my experience this evening. I did not enjoy Mystic Tan although I know I made it much more complicated than it needed to be. Will I ever do it again? We shall see. I will definitely have to rely on the cost-benefit analysis to make my decision. But its not lookin' good... five hours later I am not even that tan. I am more of a light beige. Devil!!!

PETA would be proud

Check out this adorable stray / lost puppy that my sister and I found. I saw it a few days ago running around our front yard... it was a tiny little puppy with no collar... but I just petted it a bit and hoped/assumed it belonged to some of the kids playing in the streets. Then yesterday it showed up again, but this time my sister Rachel was there - and she's a sucker. I guess my heart is a little colder and I was going to let it go. After asking a few neighbors we concluded it was lost or a stray. It is so tiny you guys - like the size of a chihuahua. But so much cuter. So we are going to post some Lost Dog signs up, but he is staying at Rachel's right now and I am afraid he is a stray and might be there to stay... Rachel's claimed him. We'll see how long that lasts. What are we running here - an SPCA? We already have a Katrina evacuee dog. Sheesh. I obviously am not a PETA member, am I? Although I do have a heart and do like dogs. Promise. And this is an adorable puppy. Don't tell Rachel... but I'll sell it to you! :) Okay not really. For all of you who knew Harper, yes he looks exactly like Harper did as a puppy...

Google ads gone wild...

I just recently started using Google Adsense on my blog because I figured why the heck not? Well maybe heck not is the way to go. Lee sent me an email with a screenshot of ROR on Friday alerting me to an issue I have on my blog (see below) :Yeah so advertising about looking up girls skirts and why rapture is a lie (which its not!) is obviously not what I was going for. Oh my goodness. How embarassing. I am aiding and abedding internet porn. Eeek! I must blog about such random stuff if this is all Adsense can come up with to advertise on my blog. So I am sorry if they offended anyone... and they have been removed until I can figure something else out - or am able to control them better. Seriously its a bad sign when even Google thinks you're wacko. Thanks Lee!

Worst movie title ever

Bangkok Dangerous. Were the movie "title creators" out sick with the flu or something so the producer let his nine year-old son name this film? Worst movie title in the history of the world. Then add Nicholas Cage (annoyingly National Treasure revived his career)... then add age-old plot of hitman got a conscience... then add Nicholas Cage with dyed long hair (eeeew)... and you have Bangkok Disaster Dangerous. Its almost so awful you have to watch... like a dead body on the side of the road. You just have to look. Even if you don't wanna.